Jumping On

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

2011-09-06T23:05:00.002-06:00

I've come to talk with you again... Okay, maybe not so much darkness but you get the idea. Where to begin...

For starters, my monkeys have both had birthdays and grown so much since I last blogged. In my mind I've written an 8.5 and 4.5 update so now the job is to just get these written down and soon before they are 9 and 5 (9 and 5?!?). I have just been lucky enough to spend the entire month of August with them (yes I took a whole month holidays, it was fantastic). Slowing down and just focusing on being their mum was such a gift and a good reminder of just how truly, truly lucky I am to have such amazing kids.

In other news, we've finally taken the big leap and purchased a new house. Now we're in the midst of trying to get this one ready to sell - it's a big job and not nearly as fun as when you are making home improvements for yourself. Up until recently, I had been having mixed feelings about the move. This is the house Hunter was born in, this is the area where the kids go to daycare, this is where Hunter's school and friends are and this area is close to so many things that we love. There just weren't any houses that were perfect in this area so we've had to move to another area - it's close but it will mean a new school and probably new daycares over time. Of course there is lots to love about the new area and Hunter has friends at the school already but I am a natural worrier and apparently change-averse. The recent event that shifted my state of mind? We recently hosted our annual football draft and after cramming a dozen adults plus kids in this place, I. can. not. wait! The new house has soo much more space. It's actually a house where there is lots of room for the kids to have friends over. It's a house with lots of room for superbowl parties, hosting Christmas and having friends visit. It is going to be awesome and I can not wait!

Overall,I am feeling unbelievably content these days. I must have some part of me that thinks I don't deserve to feel this way because even writing that down makes me nervous - am I about to set off some chain of events that will shake my world? I am a worrier so assuming something must go wrong soon is probably just part of my pathology. Also, I've got a few friends going through some stuff that is total crap and I'm feeling helpless and guilty about that even though I rationally know that this does no good and my misery would neither help them nor make their shit go away. In fact, my being in a good place probably makes me more able to be the friend they need right now, right? Okay so maybe my lesson is embrace (and enjoy) the good stuff.

Erm, Maybe in 2011

2010-12-20T20:42:00.002-07:00

So I committed to do lots of stuff in 2010. Here's a refresher:
* Run 21K in a row, like a half marathon - this was later replaced with run 1000K in 2010. I did neither. I probably ran 500K in total mostly because I took a six month break. I'll plan to bump both of these to 2011.
* Finish my MPA - Yes! This one I did. I am finally done school. Forever. Forever!
* Learn how to do a bulleted list in blogger. I learned it but I don't apply it (like now, I'm totally not doing it).
* Blog more frequently. Compared to not at all I guess I can claim success. Clearly this is a limited success.
* Get my passport. Not yet, but there's still time (well to apply anyway).

I still think these things are worth achieving so I'm going to bump those I've yet to do (if you're counting it's all but one) to 2011. 2010 has been a good year for my career. The blog doesn't reflect this but once I got through the winter blahs, had a nice vacation and got a big promotion, things have been looking up. Considerably. 2011 will be about getting comfortable in the new role and getting my staff in place so I can delegate and improve my work-life balance. 2011 is going to be about focusing on what really matters, my family. I'm looking forward to another good year.

Weekend Smiles

2010-04-19T12:07:00.003-06:00

* A bike ride through the park (Hunter can now confidently ride his bike)
* Gymnastics Julia
* Yoga with the monkeys
* A spirited game of tag
* Still, warm air

Office Space

2010-03-09T14:45:00.003-07:00

I'll admit it, I googled can't work here any more just to see what would come up. Among other things, I found a reminder of why Office Space is one of my favourite movies of all time:

Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?

Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.

Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?

Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses.

Bob Slydell: Eight?

Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

Things I Learned Today (or maybe this morning and yesterday afternoon)

2010-03-09T11:01:00.002-07:00

• I am not a professional. I don’t even like being professional.

• University is killing my self esteem. My job is killing my self esteem. Soon I will have no self esteem and will just start wearing sweat pants to work (dress sweats, if you will).

• I agree with the following as proposed by a friend:

o Your high school diploma will now be called your bachelor/bachelorette (it’s going to be uber feminism, baby) degree, your BA will be a Masters and further education will be known as elite douche-baggery.

o Upon seeking further clarification, a bachelorette can also be achieved by appearing on trashy reality TV shows but it is then referred to as a bachelorette with distinction.

• Douglas Coupland is my new literary hero (move over Vonnegut and Palahniuk). A prof recently told me you are what you read. Apparently I’m a subversive, job-hating depressive. I suppose that’s as accurate as anything.

• Despite being in a tiny bit of constant pain as a result of my stupid car v. bus accident, I appear to be climbing out of at least three months of depression. Woo hoo!

Oh yeah, as an aside... Hunter's Seven! post is in the works. I just need to add pictures then will get it posted.

Seven!

2010-03-07T19:43:00.006-07:00

Dear Hunter:
18 days ago you turned seven, wonderful, wonderful seven. It really seems like a fantastic age and overall I think we are going to have a good year. In the last few months it seems that you have really transitioned into a mature boy and I can see less and less of my baby boy all the time. It's okay because the mature boy you are becoming is great and you continue to teach me so much. Sometimes what you teach is factual because you continue to love facts and science. You make me wish I had been a paleontoligist because I'm falling in love with the things you love too. That weekend, we had a lego party to celebrate the big day. A few friends came over and you built bionicles, raced lego cars and had a building plus story telling contes. It was fun and reflective of your favourite things right now - building, bionicles and friends (I should have said buddies).

Hunter my sweet, not so little, man, I love you forever and always.

Love Mum

Things Heard in the Car

2010-03-07T19:36:00.002-07:00

Hunter: That sign says stop line. S T O P stop. L I N E line.
Hunter: I can spell lots of words (proceeds to listing and spelling them).
Julia: I can spell pee... P. I can spell car wah wah wah

Three, Three, Three!

2010-02-23T21:17:00.007-07:00

Dear Julia:

Just over a week ago you turned three. Not one or seven like you keep telling us, but three. I know, I can't hardly believe it either. You are really three! You are always one of my daily smiles (even when I don't write them down); how can I possibly begin to capture everything you are right now? Maybe I'll begin with a small list of the little things you do that are just so, well, you:

• You give fantastic hugs. Squeeze hugs. That is, tight hugs that include a small grunt. You've done this for as long as I can remember and let me tell you, these are the best kind of hugs especially from someone that comes in such a small package, like you.

• You have the most wonderfully expressive eyebrows. My favourite is when you express how something makes absolutely no sense to you. You lift your hands, repeat what you heard in an inquisitive, higher pitched voice and raise one eyebrow higher than the other practically closing one eye.

• One of the less precious, but nonetheless notable things you do happens when you don’t get the answer you are looking for. Your first line of defence is typically to continue repeating the question louder and louder until you get what you want. When this invariably fails, you stomp your foot and declare that you hate whatever answer we have given you.

This whole insisting you are seven thing relates to just how much you adore and idolize your brother, I think. For a while now you have wanted to do everything "just like Hunter." He's turning seven so naturally you expect that you should be seven like Hunter. When you insist you are one I have to conclude that this is because you know it's on one side of two (you love numbers)- you've just got the wrong side, that's all.

Besides your brother being one of your favourite toys, you've got a few others: you really love trains and puzzles and books and dress-up.

You've got the most incredible imagination.

You love to play picnic or take care of babies or go to school "just like Hunter". You also have an ongoing obsession with giving babies or stuffies medicine. I don't know where it comes from because you've only needed real medicine once, but giving babies or stuffies medicine is just one of those things that you love to do. You continue to love animals. Luckily for you, Shadow tolerates you well.

Our newest cat Benson hasn't fully adjusted. His strategy is escape, but I'm sure he'll come around. Speaking of Benson, another side of your personality presented itself when we first got him. The two cats got into a fight, which made Hunter cry but was somehow exciting to you! When things settled down, you were waving your arms in a cat fighting motion announcing that the kitties were "rarring like tigers"! Like Tigers! Clearly, you're going to be just fine with conflict. It's probably not a bad trait. I'm sure it will mean that you are resilient but believe me, I am not worried about that. You are the definition of tough.

Julia, my crazy mazy, you are the best Valentine's Day present a girl could ever have. I love you more than you can imagine for ever and always. Huggies! Kissies!

Love Mum

Today's Smiles

2010-02-09T19:42:00.002-07:00

* Valentine's cards with Hunter
* A whiteboard poem
* Jeans and dresses (together of course)
* A warm dinner waiting on a cold day
* Turning the corner at work (have been having so. much. trouble. staying engaged)

Checking In

2010-02-09T19:33:00.006-07:00

Ack, I'm falling back into old patterns. Blog entries are few and far between. I've got some things in my head I'd like to get written so will endeavour to make the time and space soon. Right now we're busy getting ready for Julia's big third birthday party and so I'm looking forward to writing a letter to my girl - it's been a long time. Anyway, on to the reason for posting - an update on my goals:
* 1000KMin2010 - I'm at 145 (woo hoo);
* Lose last of baby weight before the monkey turns three - okay, I knew this wasn't entirely realistic but I'm getting there (about a third of the way but it clearly won't happen before Sunday when she's three unless I get deathly ill);
* Finish Masters in 2010 - two classes well underway, two to go;
* Passports - erm, I did pick up the forms;
* Figure out how to do bullets in blogger - um, I've figured out a method just haven't employed it; and,
* Blog more frequently (and update family album) - getting there on the blogging, still have to update family album.

Clearly, some distance to go still. I'll keep plugging away.

1000KMin2010 Update

2010-02-01T22:14:00.002-07:00

To keep somewhat accountable, I'm going to try to update this thing every week. I seem to be dropping about 5km a week, which is okay when I start at 35km but is not so good when I get down to around 20km. Anyway, so far I'm up to 115km.

Things Overheard at the Office

2010-02-01T11:03:00.002-07:00

* Do we really want to title the agreement something that makes the acronym NWA?
* I prefer whores to prostitutes.
* I'm not sure we need to provide an official comment on the wild dog story but maybe that's just me.

I claim two out of three these suggest that sometimes logic prevails.

Oh Yeah, This Too

2010-01-24T19:26:00.002-07:00

It's a horse fly. Thanks to TyMcM for posting this on his site.

These are a Few of My Favourite Things

2010-01-24T18:47:00.004-07:00

FYI - this is easier to do with more frequency. Anyway, here are a few I was reminded of this weekend:

* Spa night with Julia/Boys night at hockey (btw, I think I'm due for a real spa day)
* Post-secret Sunday
* Fruit Loops
* "I love you mummy - kissy? huggy?" (Julia)
* Colouring with Hunter
* Stories
* Sleeping in (even if only until 8 o'clock, I still appreciate it)
* Snow days.

90 Down 910 to Go

2010-01-24T18:41:00.003-07:00

Okay, this week was a bit slower but I still managed to get 25k in, which brings me to a grand total of 90k (per the title).

Having run 15 in one stretch I know I currently do not have the stamina to do 21 in a row at a non-embarrassing speed. Must work on speed and endurance. Again, still haven't started on a formal program and am just basically screwing around at the moment. That's probably why I like the idea of doing 1000 in 2010 as a goal.

Don't worry, I'm not totally letting myself off the half marathon hook just yet. Once I'm no longer exhausted on a daily basis I'll start following a program (why am I so tired, I thought all this exercising and shedding of excess pounds would help?). Must find more time for sleep. And I suppose I should try to get a physical one of these days.

Things that are Making me Smile

2010-01-17T22:12:00.002-07:00

* Getting stronger, I can feel it even if I can't see it yet.

* Taking two good classes - good for entirely different reasons. The Friday one because it has all these full time students in it that remind me what it was like to have a million ideas for what you want to do when you grow up and just be hoping that someone will give you a chance. The Saturday one because it has a bunch of colleagues (indirect ones) in it and is taught by a political scientist. It's been a while since I've taken a class from a political scientist, it's refreshing. It's also great to experience the colleagues in a totally different environment.

* My monkeys, as always. Julia continues in her Hunter adoration and it's so much fun to watch. I think the whole copying what he is saying thing may be getting on his nerves a bit but I think he's also a little bit proud that it is he who she admires. Hunter's love for school continues to amaze me - he's actually excited to do his homework each night. It's also amazing to see how much his reading is improving (and I love that he reads to Julia and not only for selfish reasons).

* My wonderful and supportive Jason. I couldn't live this crazy life without him.

* Less important things like Glee and the Hangover winning awards. I must be getting older because stuff I watch is actually winning awards now. I maintain that this weekend sucked for football, though (okay maybe just two games in particular).

Checking in

2010-01-17T21:54:00.007-07:00

Ack, week two in and I'm already falling behind on keeping this thing up. I blame being stupidly busy. I say stupidly because it's stuff I've brought on myself. Basically, I've upped my running (65k so far this month), I've also started 30 day shred, which is brutal and I'm taking two classes this semester in an attempt to finally get my damn masters done. The classes are intellectually stimulating but involve a tonne of reading and because they are stimulating are also draining. If I can just survive the next three and a half months I will be much further along towards reaching my December resolutions. Upon reflection, applying for my passport would probaby a much easier check mark on that list.

Weekend Smiles

2010-01-10T21:29:00.002-07:00

* Sliding, fireworks and some unexpected Olympic spirit
* "A kiss for mummy, a kiss for Hunter, a kiss for daddy, a kiss for Shadow and a kiss for Julia" (Julia after walking around giving everyone a kiss then one for herself)
* "It was awesome!! I knew what you were going to ask" (Hunter running in the door upon returning from sliding with his friend)

Not only this but both Dallas and Arizona won.

Today's Smiles

2010-01-07T19:43:00.003-07:00

* A husband that is willing to start the car for me in -37c weather. This is especially appreciated since he otherwise wouldn't have had to brave the cold. Incidentally, this only somewhat counterbalances the whole it's -37c, is this even human, thing.

* Watching the cat knock Julia's princess castle onto herself. It's one of those pop-up, tent-type things with a long tube to crawl in and out of. It has two doors. The cat loves it because she can hide in there and attack people who walk by or hide from the kids when they aren't playing in it. Today she leaped out of it and knocked it on to herself. Totally serves her right for trying to attack me. I swear that cat is crazy.

* Hearing from my Mum that there might be an Adrian Mole book out that I haven't yet. I love Adrian Mole!

* Crazy family dinners. These are an everyday occurrence, I'm just appreciating it today. One of the best parts of my day even though half of it is usually spent trying to get at least one of the kids to eat at least something on their plate and the other half is usually spent trying to instill some sort of manners.

* Blogs. In case it's not evident, I'm so happy to have rediscovered this medium.

* I almost forgot (how could I?) - there is a whole new person in this world. My friend had a healthy just under 4lbs baby boy today. After much worrying and an intentionally early arrival, the little dude is doing fabulous.

It's Four O'Clock Think

2010-01-07T14:58:00.004-07:00

* Would it be reasonable for me to leave now even though I was a half hour late this morning? I mean, it is cold out and there was a two hour conference call over lunch today. Two. hours. Over. lunch. Really, really long and painful. Over lunch, for two hours.

* It's cool that you can now pre-draft posts and post 'em later. Yes, that's right, this was drafted at 10pm last night anticipating what I might be thinking about at 4pm today. Guaranteed I could predict how I'd feel about that conference call.

* My legs are so. sore. Stupid running. Should have taken a rest day yesterday. Must rest today. Guaranteed I'll be writing the exact same thing tomorrow. Really need to follow a program instead of winging it. A four day program probably makes the most sense.

* I've got soo much to do I should really get working on something. On the other hand, it is 4, with an hour left in the day does it really make sense to start something new? Maybe I should just make a list of things to work on tomorrow.

Ooh, ooh More Little Things that Made Me Smile Today

2010-01-05T21:07:00.002-07:00

* Cracking brand spanking new text books full of ideas and potential
* My wonderful, exhausted, Julia actually going to bed on time (and it only took cutting out her nap and a couple hours of napless crankiness) - there really is nothing sweeter than sleeping children
* Hunter's palpable excitement about going back to school tomorrow
* An afternoon much better than the morning

All in all, a net positive.

It's the little things

2010-01-05T21:04:00.002-07:00

* Squeeze hugs
* Purring cat
* A warm bath
* A great run
* Fluffy snow

Optimist Project

2010-01-05T11:07:00.003-07:00

Savvy reader(s) may have noticed that I tagged my yesterday post Optimist Project. I am not naturally optimistic. I'm cynical, pessimistic and a chronic worrier.

I've been thinking that I have a million little things to be greatful for and that if I focus attention to consciously taking note of the little things that make me smile each day, I might not only hit the pillow more content each night but I might also, over time, condition myself to become more optimistic. You can expect to see these reflected on my blog.

Here's the trouble: I still have lots of things that make me crazy and there are going to be days where I just need to whine about the shit that is making me want to say fuck it and jump in my car and drive away.

Today is one of those days.

I don't want to drive away from family, I just want to escape from the job. Some days, it is the general soul-crushing nature of working in a bureaucracy that gets me. Today, however, it is the little things.
* It's the annoying Director from another ministry that calls my boss instead of me because his title is Executive Director - totally disregarding the reality that he won't know the answer to her questions because I am actually the contact for her ministry and on this file. The sense that it's the title that matters not the knowledge makes me nuts.
* It's the paper-flow processes that aren't working.
* It's the lack of clarity.

It's the sense of resignation all these things together create in me.

Huh. It's kind of like the opposite of my little optimist project. If the little positives together are what makes life worth living, maybe there is value in paying attention to the little negatives coupled together and thinking about what they, put together, do to me too. Huh. Need to file this away for further reflection.

To counterbalance the negative, this made me smile this morning:
* "Mummy, you look great!"

Things that Made Me Smile Today

2010-01-04T21:51:00.002-07:00

* High five wars with Hunter
* Julia's "I want to do [insert activity here] just like Hunter"
* Coming home to painted trim (thank you, Jason)
* First day back at work not being nearly as bad as I had anticipated
* Feeling more excited about what I might learn than overwhelmed by the workload of the two classes I'm registered in
* Feeling like I can't run another minute at 5K then making it to 10K

It's January so...

2010-01-02T18:32:00.002-07:00

It's time to inevitable commit to losing the last of the baby pounds (plus a few more I'd put on before that pregnancy). I'm not sure that the twenty remaining pounds from the last pregnancy really count as the remainder of the baby weight any more, but thinking of it that way gives me a bit of a timeline for unloading it - Julia will be three on February 14th - three years is long enough to carry that extra twenty so I'm going to aim to get rid of it by then. It may not be entirely realistic but it gives me something to shoot for so time to get on it. Instead of any fad approach I'm just going to eat healthier, try to get more sleep and exercise more (including as a stress reliever). Training for the half marathon should help (I've got a long way to go, 10K is about what I'm capable of running now and I want to be much faster). Anyway, I'll keep blogland posted on both counts - I hope not to disappoint.

Additional To Do

2010-01-02T16:48:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month, Jason and I went through all of the pictures on Family Album and I realized how much I value what I have captured there (and mostly without words). It's neat to look back and see just how much the kids have grown. It definitely escapes you day to day. We listened to Hunter singing at his pre-school Christmas concert and couldn't believe how much his voice has changed in just a couple years. I wish I had more of Julia's voice captured as she has changed tremendously (her Huhus are now Hunters, banas are now bananas, etc., etc.). I regret not updating it much more than I regret not updating this blog. Pictures are coloured only with each of our memories and not just the voice of one story-teller. As an add-on to my to do list, I'm going to catch up some photos over on family album and plan to post a couple every couple of weeks.

To Do List

2009-12-18T17:01:00.005-07:00

This is my list of things to do in 2010 (I'm not going to call them resolutions because I don't really believe in them):
* run 21km in a row (you know, like a half marathon - I'll shoot for the QCM);
* finish my MPA (this is a stretch goal because it means I'll have to take two classes at once, which I really don't like);
* figure out how to do a bulleted list in blogger (I'm sure there is a way);
* start blogging more frequently (I'm surprised I even remember my password); and,
* get my passport (yes, I really don't have one).

Hmm, I wonder if the fact that I'm writing out what could arguably be called resolutions on the 18th of December and getting started on them right away is a sign that I should add live in the moment to the list. Meh, there's always next year.

Things that are Making me Smile Today

2009-12-17T13:58:00.003-07:00

Julia's dimpled and nose-crinkling smile.
Hunter's deep-seated desire to wear ties (oh, the irony!).

Things heard in the car

2009-03-11T21:01:00.002-06:00

C: blah blah blah blah blah, damn it (fist raise)!
Julia: damn it, damn it, damn it.
Hunter: Mum, Julia's saying damn it.
J: Hunter don't say damn it.
Julia: damn it damn it damn it.
Hunter: way to go Mom.

Julia, Julia, Julia

2009-03-10T17:23:00.001-06:00

Q: How can you tell Julia is my daughter?

A: She grabbed the remote and changed the channel from the Backyardigans to the Simpsons.

Slow Down, You're Moving Too Fast

2009-02-28T15:58:00.006-07:00

Dear Hunter:

Last week you turned six. There are some days where it feels like you are six going on sixteen (like the days when you tch me, or roll your eyes, or tell me I'm uncool). Other days it feels like you are six going on sixty (like when you say things that are wise beyond your years - being unwise a good example doesn't come to mind as I write this). But most of all it just feels like you are growing up too fast and the time is escaping us. I'm not going to tell you about all the ways you've changed and grown in the last year so I'll just tell you about the last week.

Last week we went to Saskatoon as I had to go to a conference and thought it would seem better if you guys were there with me. You, Julia and Dad spent the days water sliding and swimming, colouring, hanging out, and riding the elevator (where Dad tells me you guys discussed what other things could start with M other than main and you surprised him by saying migration). When we drove home you only asked two times if we were there yet (which, believe me, is a big improvement).

The very next Dad had knee surgery so you and Julia spent the day with Grandma. You guys love spending time with Grandma so it was a real treat for you. Being home also meant being back at school but that was okay because you love school. You especially love spending time with your friends there so to share your birthday celebration we sent a pile of cupcakes. Grandma tells us the container came back covered in chocolate so I'm not sure you carried it as diligently as we discussed but I am sure that you enjoyed yourself anyway.

Since Dad got home from the hospital you have been an extremely helpful boy (which isn't a surprise because mostly you are very helpful). You've been helping Mummy a lot with Julia (playing, organizing, translating, etc.), helping to set the table and helping when Dad isn't as able to move around (like crutches and carrying a glass of water don't go together as well as you might think).

Hunter, you are such a sweet, considerate, and caring boy and I love this about you. It does make me worry, but as you are getting older I'm discovering that the worrying never really goes away it just changes over time. I'm also discovering that while you are sensitive you are also very strong.

Being off work to help Daddy while he recovers has been a real gift because it has meant that you and I get afternoons as our special time. This time with you has meant the world to me. Hunter James, I love you to the edge of the universe and back. You are the most special little guy and I am blessed to have you in my life. Happy 6th birthday to all of us.

Love Mum

Two Two Two!!

2009-02-14T20:08:00.006-07:00

Dear Julia,

You are two! Two! But I don't have to tell you that, you already know as evidenced by your holding up two fingers and saying two. It really doesn't feel possible to me that you could be two because it wasn't that long ago that I was holding that tiny new baby in my arms, or carrying you around in your car seat, or propping you up way too early in your bumbo, or taking you to Mom and baby yoga, or attempting Mom and Baby Yoga as you escaped. And now you are holding up two fingers and saying two. Or loading your dishes into the dishwasher, or wiping the floor, or brushing your teeth obsessively, or playing dolls, or reading stories, or watching Barney! Elmo! or Dooa! The TV watching is new but you definitely want your 'mote when the TV is on so you can watch one of your shows. My favourite thing that you are doing right now, though has to be this:
J: Mummy?
M: What?
J: Lau la (love you).
J: Daddy?
J: Julia?
J: Lau la.
And repeat. At least five times. And sometimes, for good measure, you throw in a Hunter? lau la too. You give great kisses and the most wonderful hugs (squeeze hugs with a grunt for good measure).

Oh, and another thing I love right now - you've discovered me. Meaning you. You look in the mirror and say me. Yes, there you are you wonderful you.

Ooh, ohh and crazy. You've discovered crazy, which is crazy awesome. You take your finger and circle it near your temple and go woo woo and point at whichever one of us is apparently acting crazy.

Oh, and you are obsessed with butts, which is bordering on the embarrassing. I can only blame it on your love of your brother and all that time you spend with him because really, where else could it come from?

You are getting more independent all the time - you walk from the gym to the edge of the sidewalk all by yourself. You get your coat and boots ready (and off, usually two seconds after being strapped in the car). You know when it's time to go potty even if sometimes we don't.

Julia, my sweet crazy mazy - We love you forever, like you for always, as long as we're living our baby you'll be. Lau la.

Love Mum, Dad, and Hunter
P.S. One day I'll actually read you that story and make it to the end instead of choking up and getting Daddy to finish it.

The Truth of the Matter is

2009-01-24T22:36:00.002-07:00

I can't blog when my heart hurts. My heart has hurt a lot lately. The last six months of 2008 were not great. Don't get me wrong, they had some great moments - Hunter had his first day of kindergarten, Julia explored the potty (something she has decidely become less interested in recently)and there were just some lovely and funny moments that I should have shared to preserve the memory (like you wouldn't believe some of the stuff Hunter picks up at school!). Overall, I have been feeling like I'm mostly hanging on by my nails and pushing, pushing, pushing through. And, I don't really want to write about that stuff. I want to write about things that make people smile - things that will make me smile in a few months when I decide to read over my blog entries. And so I wait. And hope that I'm not getting way too rusty.

Why I Wish Weekends Were Longer

2009-01-18T21:51:00.003-07:00

Snowmen, Snowshoing, Sunday dinner, baking, snuggling, running, movies, etc., etc., you get the idea.

What Exactly is it that You Do Here?

2009-01-16T14:15:00.002-07:00

A former colleague is a speechwriter and a blogger. One of his blog entries takes you through exactly what being a speachwriter entails (I would link it if I could find it but unfortunately I can't at the moment). Anyway, that entry made me want to capture what exactly it is that I do.

It was a while ago and it had slipped from my mind until I came across this. This is a view of a Premiers' conference (well this one is of a First Ministers' Conference but it sounds about the same) from someone in the media. She captures well the sense of hurry up and wait that takes place at these conferences. It captures well what it feels like to be beyond the barricade (and closer to the magical door) because it's really not that different.

They wait for texts that the Premiers are coming out and ready to scrum. We wait for emails seeking information or briefing notes. We wait for emails that give some sense of what exactly is going on in that room so we can begin to write (or more accurately) edit the communiqué that intends to frame the outcomes for the media and public servants. For both of us comfortable shoes are important because along with the waiting there is a lot of running. For us it's running to bring notes and materials, and to make sure information makes it where it needs to be. For them, it's apparently because they may need to run across snowy areas to get a good quote/picture (the observations, however, seem to be about the same).

I'm sure it differs significantly in the preparation, though. For us, there are weeks or months (if we're lucky) examining the province's interests, building coalitions with other governments to advance or defend those interests, and working internally to get information from the technical experts so that we can boil it down into a note that someone who doesn't spend their days worrying entirely about highways or employment insurance or building codes can easily understand and articulate.

When the meetings are well-executed, we have many conference calls and documents shared among the jurisdictions and come to a common understanding of the issues (or at least one we can all agree to). We come up with agreed-to outcomes to put before the Premiers (we defend our jurisdiction's interests and try to negotiate common understandings). We wait while they meet and tell us what to change about the agreed-to outcomes (because they always change even if only a bit). Wait, wait, wait.

This year, we are hosting one of these meetings so my next few months will be consumed with supporting negotiations on the agenda, then it will be back to the outcomes and so on and so on. And then, when that's done, I'm going to take a nice long vacation.

Blogimatum

2009-01-15T21:48:00.005-07:00

One of my favourite bloggers shut her blog down on New Year's eve. I was sad to see it go, but I definitely appreciated her ability to let it go with dignity. I've been thinking about my final blog entry for probably a year now - I'm going to call it jumping off. While I don't feel like a blogger anymore, I'm not quite ready to let it go. I'd like it to go out on a high note, but for that to happen I'm going to have to start writing again. That means taking some time and thinking about a decent post to write or else not being afraid to write down the mundane until I feel inspired. Either way this is my restart post. And if I find I don't write a reasonable number of posts over the next month (a number I've yet to define), I'm going to write my Jumping off post.

Now, onto the mundane...
- today was day one of the weekly cafeteriapalooza (lunch on a tray) date with my work colleagues - we picked the Sears cafeteria. They had liver and onions, turkey dinners (with the ice cream scoops of potatoes and stuffing), jello with cool whip and various other cafeteria goodies. I had a burger and it was delicious (yes this is my nobody cares what you had for lunch post).
- my New Years resolution was consume less do more and we've already purchased a new couch and chair. I'm not saying we didn't need them, just that it seems a bit like we're starting off on the wrong foot. On the other hand - we went snow shoeing and sliding as a family last weekend so maybe it's a tiny bit balanced (or maybe I'm a tiny bit rationalizing).
- tomorrow it's going to be warm and that means we can have a fabulous outdoor weekend (starting Saturday at noon because I'm taking another graduate class on Saturday mornings like a sucker).
- I started doing yoga again, I had forgotten how much I loved it. I'm determined that starting yoga again will not mean that running and swimming go. Not that running hasn't been on a pretty serious hiatus for a while now (with the exception of a couple of short runs over the Christmas break)
- I'm bored with the internet and I. didn't. even. know. that. was. possible.
- And, I'm so in love with my family right now I really feel like work is intruding (even though I'm pretty content with my job at the moment). I think both are related to having a nice, long Christmas vacation.

Anyway, I will write again soon in a more coherent-type manner (maybe).

Holiday Pictures

2009-01-07T20:46:00.011-07:00

Outside Lights

Gingerbread House

Holiday Train

Tree Decorating

Christmas Concert

Checking Out the Lights

Posing

Loot (up to and including Christmas Day)

Aftermath

Christmas Carding It

2008-12-19T19:00:00.003-07:00

Kids and dogs

2008-11-25T20:34:00.004-07:00

I never appreciate when people compare their pets to your kids. You know, I trained my dog by ... so I'm sure if you took a similar approach to your child... Seriously? I do have to admit, though, that this morning when I got out of the shower and saw Julia walking around with a giant chocolate bar leaving a trail of ripped paper behind her I thought about my childhood dog, Merlin. Julia had broken into Hunter's box of chocolates that he's selling for gymnastics. She'd ripped off the wrapper, left it all over the floor and started to dig into the chocolate bar when I busted her. Merlin could not be trusted with chocolate anywhere in sight. On Easter she'd get into the baskets or have to be locked into the garage. One Christmas she tore into Jason's stocking and chewed her way to the chocolate. There were 1 lb chocolate kisses, beer bottles and truffles that disappeared over the years. Life with Merlin meant safe and secure spots for chocolate were a must or the chocolate would disappear. As I was moving the box of bars to a higher, safer, and more secure spot, I couldn't help but imagine Julia getting into a stocking with chocolate in it Christmas morning - I just hope she doesn't use her teeth!

First Haircut - pictures to follow (I promise, no really)

2008-11-24T20:35:00.003-07:00

On Saturday Julia had her first haircut. She doesn't have a lot of hair but she did have enough to get a ball of knots at the back of her head after each nap (a.k.a. a rat's nest). She went to a salon. She was good for the entire thing and quite pleased with herself afterwards. And although she refuses to wear ribbons or any such thing in her hair for more than five seconds (or the time it takes for her to say prit-t while pulling them out) she does seem to love the salon and lipstick (a.k.a prit-teee). I wonder if this means she is going to be a girly-girl afterall?

One of those Days

2008-10-28T22:44:00.004-06:00

Today was one of those days where I found myself asking "is this really my life?". I wish I could say this is an infrequent question but lately I've been asking myself this question more and more. I've been fantasizing about quitting my job, selling our house, moving somewhere small (and cheap) and opening up a coffee shop (that would of course be thriving despite the depressed real estate market). I have moments where I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile but the truth is those moments are fewer and further between all the time. Maybe I'm just taking my grief that I've had no time for out on my career or maybe this lack of satisfaction is part of a professional woman and working mother's life? A couple weeks ago I had drinks with a friend and former colleague and we had this discussion. We're both in a bit of a place where work isn't satisfying like we'd hoped it would be. She sent me a note the other day saying she'd quit her job and took a new one that paid less but looked to be a lot more rewarding. I look forward to being inspired by how the change works for her. Right now I feel like I can't dig out. I feel like the Dad in parenthood that says his whole life is about responsibility. I feel guilty for feeling that way. I worry that my Dad spent half his life feeling this way. And that I contributed. Thankfully, tomorrow is another day.

And Baby it's Cold Outside

2008-10-22T19:57:00.008-06:00

Beyond the staple of complaints about the cold weather this time year, is the re-emergence of the giant box full of one half of at least a dozen mitts, and scarves and tuques that don't match anything. The jumbled box of mismatched items is a reminder of just how disorganized I really am and how disinterested in organizing winter clothes I am, particularly when spring arrives. The front entry way, which is disorganized and too small at the best of times, becomes a mass of boots tossed off quickly, inside-out coats and general chaos. We find ourselves squeezing in as the door opens only a quarter of the way. And while I think that the level of chaos in our house may be unique to a family headed by two disorganized parents, I think that the box (or some form of it) exists in most households, no matter how organized. That's why I thought I would share an innovation introduced to me by my colleague - Cubbies. Just like kindergarten no matter how old your family is. Each member gets one and everything they need goes in it - mitts, coats, hats, boots, everything. And if something gets lost? Not sure. But I like the idea that everyone is responsible for themselves and on their own. Even Julia, who is the worst offender when it comes to stripping off winter attire and leaving it wherever suits her.* When (and if) I get around to implementing it, I'll let you know how it works.

* I know, I know, somewhere someone is saying that a child with no regard for things in their place is exactly what I deserve.

Julia Julerston

2008-10-05T15:20:00.002-06:00

Election 2008

2008-10-02T22:52:00.002-06:00

After two nights of watching political debates, and four weeks of reading almost everything on the election, I've come to a conclusion - there are three things that are desparately needed to improve this election:

1. more polls, that's right polls;
2. more sweater vests; and,
3. more one-liners

Never mind analysis of platforms, media organizations really need to devote more resources to polling. Six plus polling companies reporting each day just isn't enough for me to form an opinion on how to vote. I need to know how the intentions of voters change at least three times a day. Does breakfast make a difference to the appeal of Stephen Harper? Is the view of Canadians on Stephane Dion's leadership strengthened by a hungry man dinner? What about a cloudy afternoon - what does that do the prospects of a majority?

And platforms? They're for suckers I need more sweater vest visuals to really make a well-considered voting decision. I've seen Stephen and Stephane but can Jack and Gilles pull off the sweater vest? What about Elizabeth May? Isn't there a soy-based green sweater vest she could find? Policy is nothing - I really need to know who can rock the vest best. This is the stuff that really matters. And think about Canada's reputation oversees - if we aren't able to be at the forefront of fashion-past how are we to shine?

And last but not least, who is the king (or queen) of the zing? Either you don't care or your incompetent which is it? Where's your platform, under your sweater? Your approach is don't worry be happy. Just think how zingers could play out in federal-provincial negotiations. The entertainment factor of First Ministers' Meetings would go way up and what could be more important that a few good sound bytes?

You know what this election really needs? Beer. Oh wait, maybe that's me.

One Word Meme / Any excuse for content really

2008-09-15T22:28:00.002-06:00

Thanks to Mama Schmoo for some content. I really should give this thing up but I keep clinging to the hope that one day I will be inspired even though I know the reality is that it actually takes effort not inspiration to keep up a blog. Imagine if that was three sentences? I'm sure it would be much clearer but now I'm rambling (I know, you're shocked).

ONE WORD

1. Where is your cell phone? nowhere
2. Your significant other? comfort
3. Your hair? neglected
4. Your Mother? Mum
5. Your Father? Dad
6. Your favorite thing? warmth
7. Your dream last night? ellusive
8. Your favorite drink? water
9. Your dream/goal? direction
10. The room you're in? dining
11. Your hobby? ephemeral
12. Your fear? surrender
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? unsure
14. Where were you last night? home
15. What you're not? thin
16. Muffins? bran
17. One of your wish list items? foresight
18. Where you grew up? Alberta
19. The last thing you did? class
20. What are you wearing? jeans
21. Your TV? On
22. Your pets? fish :(
23. Your computer? laptop
24. Your life? full
25. Your mood? alert
26. Missing someone? yes
27. Your car? impala
28. Something you're not wearing? socks
29. Favorite store? Book
30. Your summer? short
31. Like someone? Yes
32. Your favorite colour? Black
33. When is the last time you laughed? Today
34. Last time you cried? Friday
35. Who will resend this? ?

First Day of Kindergarten

2008-08-31T21:17:00.002-06:00

Growing Up

2008-08-18T18:19:00.004-06:00

Not only is Hunter starting kindergarten in less than two weeks, now this...

In case you can't tell, he's holding up a tooth in that picture. That's right, my little guy lost his first tooth.

As I was calculating in my mind approximately how much a tooth would be worth nowadays (you know with inflation and whatnot), he advised me that he was going to hide it from the tooth fairy so that he could keep it forever.

Kindergarten, losing a baby tooth, and now a pack-rat. Clearly my little guy is growing up.

Holidays

2008-08-16T00:42:00.006-06:00

Whenever we visit the mountains it becomes so clear to me why we do this vacation again and again and again. One of the things I love most about this holiday is that it is never the same - you could take it a thousand times and still manage to do something different each year.

In the town of Banff

This year we started in Banff, spent a day in Golden and travelled up to Jasper. We also spent a day in Calgary at the zoo (pictures will be posted on the Family Album blog shortly).

We stayed at our favourite campground near Banff - Castle Mountain. Castle Mountain is perfect because you're almost exactly half way between Banff and Lake Louise and only a few kilometres from one of our favourite hikes - Johnston Canyon.

Julia and I near the falls at Johnston Canyon - Just over a 6K hike to take in this beautiful scenary

Johnston Canyon

It's also nice and close if you choose to do the drive to the Radium hotsprings which we opted not to do this year (first time in a long time we haven't done this one but we really needed another week of holidays even to just fit some of our favourites in). The campground costs $21.50 per night plus $8 for firewood. The campground is quiet, has a nice creek flowing through it, and a great hike attached to it. On the drive into town the first day we spotted mountain sheep, deer, two bears, and some elk.

The drive from Banff to Jasper is about 230km but it's worth taking about six hours to drive it with all the wonderful stops. Usually we stop at the Columbia icefields but this year we decided to try a couple of different stops - we'll do Columbia icefields again another year when Julia is a bit older.

Between Banff and Jasper

Hunter and Jason at one of the stops we made on the drive between Banff and Jasper

A stop on the way to Jasper

Hunter climbing at another stop between Banff and Jasper

We didn't get away from Banff nearly as early as we had planned so by the time we had taken several stops on the way to Jasper it was quite late. We had planned to stay at a campgound called Wabaso but on the way there we almost drove into a very larger bear so we decided we'd stay somewhere a little closer to town. We ended up staying at Wapiti campggound. It was $28.50 a night but worth the bit extra because it had showers which we would desperately need since we'd no longer be going swimming and showering at the swimming places in Banff.

Campground

We didn't have a lot of time at Jasper but we managed to pack a few hikes in: we hiked to the glaciers at Mount Edith Cavell, we went for a very short hike at a Caribou crossing, and checked out Athabasca Falls.

This is at Mount Edith Cavell near the first campground we planned to stay at. It's about a one hour hike to the Glacier and back up.

This was near Mount Edith Cavell but a hike we decided not to complete as there had been a grizzly sighting on the trail four out of the past seven days (we wondered when we saw a couple ahead of us packing bearspray).

Athabasca Falls just outside of Jasper

Athabasca Falls again

Athabasca Falls isn't too far from the campground we had initially planned to stay at and on our way to the Falls we saw another bear. We were really glad we had decided not to stay there.

All in all it was a great holiday - we just wished we had more time. We're hoping to take a nice fall holiday to Banff this year and stay at one of the cabin-type hotels at Tunnel Mountain. Of course it will depend on our schedules and whatnot.

Happy 18 Months and a Bit

2008-08-15T23:43:00.006-06:00

Happy 18 months and one day my sweet little girl. You are growing up so wonderfully and your smiles, kisses, and devilish nature have been lifting our spirits daily these last couple months.

You are so smart and determined and you are constantly surprising us as you learn something new and unexpected. Lately you've been interested in learning to use the potty with no push from us - one day you yanked and your diaper and said "pee" so we sat you down to see what you'd do and you knew exactly what you were doing so I imagine that in a couple of months you'll have mastered it. You love figuring out how to put stuff together (and take it apart) - Legos, lids, shapes - anything that will come apart really. You are also a fearless climber - you've mastered the ladder to the top of Hunter's bunk, the chairs so you can walk around on the table, and pretty much anything that might even be remotely climbable.

You're also the cutest little mimic I've seen - you'll pant like a puppy, bark, meow, act like a monkey, copy Hunter's "awwws" and Daddy's growls. When Grandma and Grandpa Gush were visiting you picked up angry eyebrows - now angry eyebrows is one of your favourite little looks to give along with raised eyebrows.

You love to play hide and seek, peek, and where's your... (tummy, nose, bum, etc.). You really love to tickle and be tickled. You and your brother continue to have the most amazing relationship - I have no doubt that it will serve both of you well as long as you live. Hunter has you dancing with him and has been singing ABCs to you and teaching you all sorts of things we'd probably rather he didn't but it's hard not to watch the two of you and smile.

Jules, every day with you brings something wonderful and I can't imagine loving you more.

Love Mum

Coping

2008-08-10T00:18:00.005-06:00

Away
I can substitute grief
With worry.
Worry about the woman who not only lost her partner but the future she imagined,
Her hopes, her dreams, her plans.

There
I am forced to feel the loss that is all of ours.
The summers I had imagined for my children with Grandma and Grandpa.
The canoe trips, the bird-watching, the days at the beach.
Trips to the water park and stays in the city fade away.
He is not sitting out there with his coffee as I expect and won't be again.

There
I watch the granddaughter he would adore play.
I imagine how he would love her mischievousness.
I imagine the phrases he would teach her and the nicknames she would acquire.
Knowing she will only know him through the stories of others - my heart aches.

There
I listen to the grandson recall special trips in summer and winter.
I worry the memories will fade.
Or will be false ones that exist in pictures only.
I wonder how to preserve them or something of him in their memories - my throat swells.

There
I see the wife
Whose future is uncertain.
I worry still but I also grieve
For the woman she was and would have been.
She is still there but forever changed.
Tears spill out and I can barely breathe.

There
I take deep breaths. Many deep breaths
And calm, try to calm.
I am needed by the grandchildren who lost their grandpa
And the wife who lost her husband.

What would he do?
He would be a rock wouldn't he?
He always was.

Only the situation reversed is unimaginable.
I don't think he could have survived it.
I pray that she will.
And I worry.
And worry I can deal with.
But grief is overwhelming.

Making Conversation/Planning Vacations

2008-07-22T21:18:00.003-06:00

C: "So you start holidays next week, eh? Any big plans?"
D: "If one more person asks me what I'm doing on my holidays I'm going to lose it. You know what I'm not doing? Hanging out with people who ask what my holiday plans are that's what."
C: erm okay, clearly someone is in serious need of a holiday... "Taking it easy then. I'm not a planner either. I've got holidays next week and I have no idea what we're doing. Playing it by ear I guess."
D: "Yeah, playing it by ear" (and losing the rage).

Fast forward one week and we still have no idea, though I am excited that I have three, that's right three, more work days until I am officially off work for two weeks. Things I've thought about in the last two days include: camping in the mountains (aka the staple), going to PA for the best cheesecake ever (erm and camping), flying to Toronto for a Bluejays game, doing some much needed work around the house, going back to Quebec City for an actual holiday (too bad flights and hotels there are so expensive for that to be an unplanned jaunt). What we'll definitely be doing is spending a couple days with my Mum and having some much-needed family time. Beyond that it will be on the fly so to speak.

Cammy is

2008-06-25T17:25:00.001-06:00

Writing to advise that she will post pictures soonish - likely next week. I am also writing to announce my frustration at forgetting my camera (especially when I have such a fantastic view from my Montreal hotel room).

Graduation!

2008-06-18T20:47:00.003-06:00

When I wasn't a parent, I thought a graduation for pre-school (or kindergarten for that matter) was silly but now that I'm a parent I soak it up. I was proud of my sad and crowd-terrified boy today and sad that this chapter is coming to an end.

P.S. The guy in the yellow shirt is Davon, Hunter's best pre-school friend. I don't think either family will have a single picture without the two of them in it. Hunter may go camping with his family this summer - yikes! I'm so not ready for that.

One Day, One Hour, One Moment

2008-06-18T20:32:00.002-06:00

At a time. I used to think of this as a mantra for recovering addicts but now I realize it's just an appropriate mantra for recovery. Or for dealing with something that when considered as a whole is overwhelming and is marginally more accomplishable if broken down into smaller pieces. A mantra I am whole heartedly embracing at the moment. The other factor I often attribute to recovering addicts is the idea of acceptance. This one is harder and some days are better than others but I'm trying to embrace it as well. Sometimes, though, I have these moments where I feel like I'm healing but I'm not entirely sure that I'm not just compartmentalizing or denying because sometimes the realization rushes and it's overwhelming all over again. And this is probably where faith comes in - faith that something somewhere has a plan and I just don't understand. This might be the hardest one, and the most necessary. But there have been great moments these last few weeks too - like "Mummy!"and graduation, and hugs and kisses, and spotting an oriole when out for run. And we're hanging in there.

Disbelief

2008-06-04T16:40:00.003-06:00

One of my favourite things about my blog when I was keeping it up regularly was the dialogue it allowed me to have with my Dad. My Dad and I had always been close - I always looked up to him and prided myself in the ways we were alike. Some of my best conversations were 10 pm chats with my Dad. It was my Dad that I always called if it felt like my world was falling apart and I needed someone to talk to. And today he is gone. And I can't believe it. And I don't know what to do and this feels like a silly exercise because there must be something more productive I could do while waiting for the clothes to be ready to pack so we can catch our flight home to be with my Mum but I just don't know what that is. And I just can't believe he's gone. And I wish I had written that Father's Day letter to him that I wanted to write last year that was so hard to write because words really couldn't capture how much he meant to me. I wish I had written about the incredible strength he provided to us when my brother died. The evenness he brought to enraged teenaged battles. The calm wisdom. And I just can't believe he is gone. And I am so glad I hugged not long ago but God I just wish I had more time.

Quiet

2008-05-27T20:21:00.002-06:00

In the last month, I've had a couple of out of town trips for work. It had been a while since I had any of these - at least since before Julia was born - and now, in a month, I've had two. A few weeks ago sitting in a posh hotel in Montreal at 10 at night I remember the overwhelming quiet. I remember thinking how much more I would enjoy a posh hotel in Montreal if my family was there to share it with me. I thought the quiet and the longing was due to the poshness of the hotel and the newness of the locale. I was wrong - tonight I'm sitting in a less than stellar hotel in PA, waiting for it to cool off to the right temperature for a run, and feeling an overwhelming sense of quiet and a longing for the sounds of my family -the "Julia"s in Hunter's voice, the "baba"s in Julia's, the business of 8pm bath times and bedtimes, the evening conversation after the kids are in bed - the sounds of joy in my mind. Of course, these feelings could be somewhat exacerbated because the other thing these last two trips have in common is my lack of a good book.

Up and Running

2008-05-24T16:00:00.003-06:00

I've completely drifted away from blogland these last few months. Being back at work has been a lot more overwhelming than I remembered it being after I went back when Hunter was one. It may have something to do with changing jobs less than two months after being back and walking right into the busy season in the new job or it may be dealing with a new administration or it might have something to do with having two little monsters rather than one. Really, it's probably a combination of all that and an example of my inability to effectively balance my life. It seems that whenever I pick something new up something else drops even if the new thing doesn't take that much time. My newest pick up has been that running class I mentioned a while back. But I've been attributing more drops than I should to that one small change. I've basically dropped my regular swimming (which seems to have had the effect of neutralizing any benefits I probably would have gotten from running - oh well, the endorphins are good). Anyway, this is a round about way of saying I'm back to blogging a couple nights a week anyway. I hope my readership will find me again but if not that's okay too. New pictures coming up at family album.

Evidence I don't pay a lot of attention to detail or the rest of that meme

2008-05-10T19:54:00.003-06:00

31. Would you rather have room mates or live alone? I don't know - I've never lived alone.

32. What is your favorite thing to wear? jeans

33. Do you give money to homeless people when they ask? If I've got change on me I'll likely give it.

34. Missing someone? Yep.

35. You're having a bad day, what is one thing that can make your day better? A hug.

36. Do you keep secrets well? When they're worth keeping I do.

37. Can you sing? Depends, are you deaf?

38. Any plans for today? Not particularly tomorrow I'm going into work (yes, on Mother's Day. Being a grown up sucks).

39. Favorite color? Black.

3 pm facebook think

2008-05-05T18:03:00.001-06:00

Cammy is wishing she were on a deck drinking beer instead of writing a million briefing notes. Cammy is thinking if she were at her old job at least she could be happily filled with rage about the current shaningans. Cammy is fondly remembering mindless work days in Banff and Golden. Cammy is thinking at some point she should really get behind the elimination of the automatic is on facebook because then she could at least think in past tense and expand her thought. Cammy is procrastinating. Cammy is feeling guilty about missing a run this weekend. Cammy is wishing she were at a hardware store buying lumber for fence building. Cammy is having one of those useless Cammy days*. Cammy is missing her family.

* At the end of the day Cammy did manage to accomplish a lot it just didn't feel like it as she was muddling through.

Meme (the Rest)

2008-05-01T22:51:00.002-06:00

I may have new material related to taking the bus, walking home, and running so I figure I ought to finish this meme thing up so I can bore you with other things...

40. How old will you be in 10 months? Same as now only closer to 33 gasp.

41. What did you do today? Work, supper (ate not cooked), baths (kids), bed (kids), tv, run, computer. Exciting stuff.

42. Who was the last person who texted you? texted? what's that? Haven't I mentioned I'm a neo-luddite?

43. What is your current status? On facebook?

44. What are you listening to? Across the Universe. Who knew I would ever love Beatles covers this much (I'm usually a total purist when it comes to the Beatles)?

45. Who can you tell anything to? Anything? The internet apparently.

46. What were you doing at 12 am last night? Sleeping or trying to.

47. When is the last time you saw your Mom? March 15? Right after my birthday. My boy cried for about an hour after she left for the plane.

48. Have you kissed someone in the last 2 weeks? Yes, yes, yes.

49. How many houses have you lived in? One of my own as an adult. 3-4 as a kid.

50. Do you live in the house you grew up in? No, I'm starting to suspect this survey was written for a teenager.

51. What are you doing for your next birthday? I have no clue, probably not much.

52. Are you a social person? Depends on the day. I seem to oscillate between introvert and extrovert.

53. Do you like someone right now? Yeah, I'm totally right about the teenager thing. Yes, and he's dreamy, giggle.

54. What color is your shirt? Black, I know you're shocked.

55. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? Yes but only because there is someone on the other side, once he is gone I roll all over the place.

56. Do you know how to play poker? Not well.

57. What are you thinking about right now? I should go to bed.

58. Any plans for this weekend? Next weekend? Actually, yes. O'Hanlons Friday, kite flying Saturday, BBQ Saturday night oh yeah and two runs.

59. Do you have anything bothering you? Not at the moment.

60. Do you smile often? Yes, giggle even.

61. When was the last time you cried? Not sure. That's probably a good sign.

62. Have you ever had a life threatening injury? Not really an injury, but kind of I guess.

63. Have you ever been in an ambulance? Nope.

64. Do you prefer an ocean or pool? A pool.

65. Why is your relationship status the way it is? What does this question even mean?

66. What is something that you collect? Right now, not too much. I've got a bunch of things I've collected in the past and still kind of do.

67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? My earrings and my wedding ring.

68. Do you think OJ killed his wife? Yes.

69. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? Yes, sometimes I wish I could still do that (mostly when I'm trying to write papers that I've put off for far too long).

70. How often do you remember your dreams? Rarely but the ones I remember are usually good.

71. What is the main ring tone on your phone? ring, ring, ring.

72. What is something that you do too much? procrastinate

73. Do you shut the water off while you brush your teeth? Yes.

74. Do you wish someone was with you right now? He already is.

75. Are you mad about anything? Not at the moment but give it time...

76. How late did you stay up Saturday night and why? I don't remember?

77. What was the first thing you thought when you got up? Why can't it be Saturday yet?

78. Who were you with Saturday night? My family.

79. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? I can't imagine that I wouldn't be.

80. Do you think it will be snowing 3 months from now? It better not be!!

81. When is the next time you will see your best friend? Hopefully soon!

82. What highschool did/do/will you attend? I wouldn't exactly say attend but I was enrolled at Westwood.

83. Who was the last person you talked to last night before bed? Jay.

84. Is there anything that you are craving right now? Nope.

85. Have you ever started a sentence with "No offence but..."? I'm sure I have. Right now I try not to say anything followed by but because it negates everything before it anyway.

86. Do you drink tea? Yes. I like especially like London Fogs, mmm london fog.

87. Are you happy with your life right now? Pretty much.

88. Who do you hate? Nobody.

89. What do you wear to bed? Pjs.

90. Has anyone gotten on your nerves lately? No this week.

91. Do you think you'll be married in 10 years? Yes.

92. What were you doing at 6 pm on Friday night? O'Hanlons. Pay attention annoying question person.

Meme 3

2008-04-27T15:45:00.003-06:00

21. Can you watch scary movies alone? Yes and it's a good thing too because I'm probably one of the most annoying people to watch a scary movie with. I have a really hard time suspending belief and keeping my comments to myself.

22. Would you rather stay home all day or be out and about? Depends on the day - I think mostly I'm introverted but I have my moments where I'd almost anything to get out.

23. Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational? I like to keep the peace but I'm also argumentative. I mostly enjoy being around people with whom I can have a good argument but they always end peacefully (almost).

24. Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close friends? A few close friends.

25. Where would you like to live? I like it here, but I would also like to live in a small mountain town - there just aren't a lot of policy-type jobs in those towns (at least not that I've found)...

26. What is your ideal profession? I'm happy as long as I'm challenged intellectually. I'm pretty content right now.

27. What is one fear that you have? I don't think I have any really irrational fears - mascots make me uncomfortable but I can be around them (I just don't like to be).

28. Are you good in math? Relatively.

29. What's stashed under your bed? Probably dust bunnies - we really need to get our furnace ducts cleaned.

30. Is there anyone you ever regret meeting? Probably but I figure every experience good or bad sums up to where I am now and I'm pretty okay with where I am now.

Meme Part 2

2008-04-27T13:45:00.002-06:00

11. Do you know anyone with the same name as you? Not really. I know a few with variations (or at least I used to) - I used to work with a Kamelia. Prince Charles' wife's name is spelled the same way as mine but pronounced differently same with Camilla Scott. Mine rhymes with Pamela but is spelled like Camilla. As for my short name, the one that I go by, I don't know anyone but there was a cashier at IGA once named Kami, there are some anime characters named Cammy, and there was a girl named Cammy in a John Candy movie. See these are the things you notice when you don't have a common name.

12. What do you smell like? I don't know. I hope not bad.

13. What's your favorite month? I don't know, I like Christmas but only from the 24th on so probably not December. I like warm weather so July and August are good. I like the fall, Thanksgiving, and Halloween so October probably takes it for me though.

14. Do people ever misspell your name? Always and they mispronouce it or just flat out call me Tammy (which is among the most annoying things in the world). I had been meaning to do a whole post about this one day I just didn't get around to it. You should see some of the variations on my last name...

15. Are you a mean person? I hope not. Sometimes I might be a bit too blunt but not usually.

16. What was the last sporting event that you watched? I am watching a Bluejays game right now.

17. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you shower? Yes because it keeps the warmth in.

18. Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn't? No.

19. You win the $100 million power ball lottery - what do you do? Good question since I'm not American...

20. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person? I like the heat but I love the mountains. I feel at peace when I'm in the mountains and I'm not a fan of the smell of the ocean so I'm going to have to go with snowy mountain.

Meme Part 1

2008-04-24T22:32:00.002-06:00

This Meme has one hundred questions so I'm going to answer it over ten posts. I can't guarantee that they'll be consecutive posts but I'll do my best.

1. What was the last hot thing you touched? A cake pan. Today's Jason's birthday so it was yesterday when I baked his cake (Happy Birthday!).

2. Do you have an eating disorder? Would it be wrong of me to answer this with I wish!? Okay, okay, I know it would. I seriously do not have the discipline to have an eating disorder. Not that that (having the discipline to have an eating disorder) would be a good thing, don't get me wrong.

3. As a child, did you ever take swimming lessons? Yes, I loved swimming - still do.

4. What was the last movie you watched in the theatre? I love that almost every parent (with young children) that I know answered this with either a kids movie or a "theatre? this concept is foreign to me" type response. I believe the last movie I saw in the theatre was Ratatouille.

5. Do you have siblings? I bet the crafters of these questions didn't expect that it could be a difficult question. I had a brother, he is deceased.

6. Ever had braces? Although you would never know it, I did. Apparently the roots of my teeth are shallow so they didn't really do that much good. Either that or the fact that I used to loosen the wires when I was a kid and never wore my retainer means that my parents spent ridiculous amounts of money unnecessarily. Who knows, maybe my teeth would be really awful if I'd never had them.

7. When was the last time you kissed the last person you kissed? Maybe ten minutes ago.

8. What are two things you get made fun of a lot for? Hmm a few things come to mind but I'm just going to pick one - my general goofiness.

9. How old are your brothers and sisters? My brother would be 35 if he was alive. He was 21 when he died.

10. What was your favorite movie as a child? I think my Mum would say it was Clash of the Titans. It's really really bad now but I remember thinking it was the coolest thing ever when we were renting it a million times.

Bloggo

2008-04-21T22:04:00.001-06:00

I keep imagining a moment where I'm inspired to blog regularly again. I've got a list of new links for when I update my sidebar and I'm contemplating colour scheme. It just seems a little unnecessary when the content is non existent. Sigh. There is a meme I'm going to do... Thankfully there are always memes.

2008-04-21T21:50:00.002-06:00

Happy Happy 14 Months

2008-04-14T21:54:00.003-06:00

Dear Julia:

I just want to capture a few of the wonderful things you've been doing these last couple months. In the near future I plan to post some videos capturing you in all your wonder but in the meantime, here is a quick run down:
Walking! Sometimes even without the orthopaedic shoes!

Climbing - dangerous but fun. One of your favourite things to do at the moment is to climb onto the couch and peer our the window and knock on it if Hunter's outside playing. If everyone is inside sometimes you'll peer out the window but other times you'll hide behind the couch cushions.

Peek a Boo! When we ask "Where's Julia?" you quickly cover your eyes and then uncover them with the biggest grin imaginable.

That's my tummy. Another favourite is to give your tummy a big slap when we ask where it is (you grin while doing this too).

Beat up Hunter. There really should be nothing adorable about you attacking your brother but I think it's that grin. That grin makes it cute even when it shouldn't be (though, to be fair he dishes it out pretty good too).

Playing with buttons - the microwave, the remote, the television, the stereo, you get the idea.

Some oldies but still goodies are:

Crinkling your nose and grinning when you're up to no good.

Blowing farts on tummies (or arms, or faces, or legs, or whatever will make that sound that makes you laugh).

Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, uh oh. Not just when you drop stuff but sometimes just 'cause you can make a cool beat.

Babas, babas, babas! This is your word for bananas and you're still pretty obsessive about them.

Kissing the babies. Hugging the babies. Kissing the dinosaurs, hugging the dinosaurs.

You still occasionally drop to the floor and drag that one leg.

Devil horns finger sucking.

Just general mahem.

Crazy Mazy, we love you forever, we like you for always, as long as we're living our baby you'll be.

Love Mum, Dad, and Hunter xoxoxo

Dear Reader

2008-04-08T22:44:00.005-06:00

I'm tired because I'm learning. I'm learning because I started a new job yesterday. I started a new job yesterday because I was feeling a bit too comfortable in my old one and took that as a sign that it was probably time for me to move on, challenge myself, and develop some new skills. So far, I love the new job. I'm sure I'm in a bit of a honeymoon phase but as of right now I find it really interesting and I really like my colleagues and my boss.

The other new thing I'm doing right now, is taking a running class. I've tried running off and on for years. Usually I'll get to about 20 minutes of continuous running then give up when I feel like I'm not getting so I can run any longer than that. Apparently the problem is that I'd not been working on endurance. I'm on week two and we're doing 15 minutes so I'm not up to my usual wall level yet but it's feeling good.

As for the family - everyone is well. I think the kids are really thriving with Jason being home and I think he is adjusting well to being home now too. He's much more social than I am so they are getting out and doing more stuff to everyone's benefit.

Last week, we bought Julia some new orthopaedic shoes as we're still waiting for a call from the specialist. The shoes seem to be helping: she is actually walking across the room at times using both feet instead of walking with one foot and kneeling/dragging the other. She can only do it wearing the shoes so she is wearing them for most of her waking hours. She is quite proud of her progress (and so are we).

Hunter has been his usual content self. He has quit complaining about the never-ending winter and has started climbing his tree again lately. He still won't admit that it's spring because there are no buds on the trees but I think he's starting to come around now that there has been a robin in his tree and the geese are returning to the park. They're planting seeds at school already and I'm looking forward to starting our own garden (we're hearing 19 above this weekend!).

Turn down the Suck

2008-04-01T22:34:00.005-06:00

This whole working, going to school, being a parent thing is really starting to cut in to my blogging time. Not only do I find I have less time to sit down and come up with anything worth reading, I also find I actually have less time to read some of my favourite blogs. Don't get me wrong, I am still finding creative ways to slack. Anyway, I thought I would provide a kickass link in case you're needing someone to enable your own slacking. Enjoy.

Don't Judge Me!

2008-03-30T22:07:00.006-06:00

Being the mother of a sponge means that I should probably reassess some of my commonly used expressions. I should probably consider the implications and messages of my words. Especially in front of the boy. He picks up everything (well not his toys but you get the idea). Obviously, I have not been applying enough thought to the meaning of my words. My intent is harmless but hearing them come out a five year old's mouth causes me to pause.

I wonder what Hunter's teachers will infer if they hear him tell a classmate (s)he's driving him to drink?

When my Mum was visiting, Hunter took a look at a candy toy my Mum had brought for him and asked "How the hell do you open this thing?" This one I can't take credit for but it is a good example of how he picks up everything (in a short period of time, like say during a visit from a Grandparent).

Last week, Jason and I were talking about Julia's newish musical elephant as I was getting ready for work. The conversation went something like this:
C: She really likes that thing.*
J: Yeah, she does.
C: It's not that bad either. Some of those things are so awful you find yourself wishing for death as you listen to them (altered voice) "Please kill me"
H: Yeah I hate those toys that say "please kill me". Busts into laughter.
J&C: Dumbfounded and trying not laugh.
C: Uh, I have to get to work - can you fix all my parenting mistakes while I'm out?

* It's a singing elephant that takes batteries. Jason and I have a bad habit (or maybe a good habit) of letting the batteries for electronic toys run out because neither of us have much love for them. We never buy them - we like to pretend it's because we're encouraging imaginative play but in reality it probably has more to do with us not being able to hear the stereo or TV with these things playing. Yes, we know, we're horrible, horrible parents.

Whining

2008-03-29T16:33:00.006-06:00

I find I'm often disappointed with the level of provincial political analysis in the blogworld (not to mention the lack of analysis in print media). Maybe I just haven't found the perfect provincial political blog yet (you know the one where the person is writing stuff I consistently agree with). Most of what I've found is quite obviously partisan, which is okay if that's what you're looking for, but I just want the issues deconstructed with an eye to good public policy. Funny and thought provoking would be good too. Where is Saskatchewan's answer to Rick Mercer? Okay, maybe Rick Mercer is a bad example but he does tend to make me smile...

Hello

2008-03-24T22:14:00.004-06:00

Hello - is it me your looking for? I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile. That's all I know of that Lionel Richie song (thankfully) and I don't know why it's in my head but there it is. Blast you Lionel Richie for your awful, awful songs invading popular culture (not to mention your off-spring).

Anyway, I thought I would write a quick note to say that yes, I am still alive. Life has been busy. I'm writing a riveting paper that involves analysing five years worth of provincial auditor's reports for three different provinces to identify trends. Yeah, it's an exciting topic, I'm not going to lie. Work has been crazy busy and I'm starting a new job in two weeks which would normally mean I can begin to wind down at my current one but the situation at work is such that there is way too much work to be able to withdraw in any manner without feeling more guilt than I've already been feeling about leaving (though to be honest taking a vacation day or two is beyond appealing at the moment). The new job will be good though (and probably equally busy).

The kids are doing fabulous. I'm working on a post about Hunter that will exemplify my tremendous parenting but that will be another day (here's a teaser - it involves him repeating innappropriate things I say about annoying toys). Julia has been going through some amazing changes - she is really starting to verbalize (FYI - I've decided to stretch out the letters to one every two months). She is starting to love her babies - kissing them, asking you to kiss them, and saying "uh oh" when they fall. The other day she babbled something that sounded like "I love you" which any parent knows is the best phrase in the world. Speaking of awesome phrases, Hunter has been throwing around "your the best mum in the whole world" a lot lately and even though he may just be sucking up, I'll take it.

Easter was lots of fun. Hunter isn't crazy about candy but Julia is so even though Hunter is a at perfect age for hunting for the candy, Julia was in on the action in a big way sniffing out chocolate and eating what she could find (wrappers or not). The bunny also foolishly brought her some baby markers and so I'll soon be posting some pictures of the results of that on the other blog. Anyway, more to come in a few days when my paper is handed in - I just thought I would check in and say hi (say hi back).

(In case you haven't noticed I tend to really overuse parenthesis).

Only One Sleep

2008-03-10T23:35:00.004-06:00

At Christmas, my Mum told Hunter she would be coming for a visit in a couple of months. For future reference, notice should be given only to the adults as Hunter has been on a bit of a countdown ever since. Last week, Jason picked himself up a new pair of leather slippers. Because I had made the mistake of mentioning the upcoming visit (read: threatening Hunter that if he didn't clean his room Grandma wouldn't be able to visit), Hunter knew the visit was getting closer. Upon spotting unfamiliar slippers in the bathroom when he awoke, Hunter came running into our room half asleep "can I wake Grandma up now so we can play?" He didn't receive the news that she wasn't really here very well at all so the next half hour was spent calming a crying, angry, and still half-asleep boy. By 7am, he had settled down nicely but woken Julia in the process. My snooze button would not be pushed beyond its limit that day. Fast forward a week - his room is messy again and Grandma will be here tomorrow anyway. Hunter will be a mass of excitement all day tomorrow so I'm feeling slightly sympathetic that Jason will have to manage his hourly inquiries as to just when she will get here. I've already warned him to make sure that Hunter doesn't knock her over at the airport. My sympathy for Jason having to field the hourly inquiries is measured by my jealousy that I won't be there to see him light up when she arrives.

Languishing

2008-03-06T20:29:00.003-07:00

I know, I know, I shouldn't post about work. So instead I thought I would do a little vocabulary building. Infer what you will.

lan·guish (lāng'gwĭsh)

To be or become weak or feeble; lose strength or vigor.
To exist or continue in miserable or disheartening conditions: languished away in prison.
To remain unattended or be neglected: legislation that continued to languish in committee.
To become downcast or pine away in longing: languish apart from friends and family; languish for a change from dull routine.

Maybe I should do some self-analysis. Nah, more vocabulary building. Again, infer what you will.

dra·mat·ic (drə-māt'ĭk)

Of or relating to drama or the theater.
Characterized by or expressive of the action or emotion associated with drama or the theatre: a dramatic rescue at sea.
Arresting or forceful in appearance or effect: a dramatic sunset.
Music Having a powerful, expressive singing voice: a dramatic tenor.

1831

2008-03-02T21:09:00.004-07:00

Hunter, your five year update is a bit late so your Dad has suggested I title it 1831 because that's how many days old you are - you know, roughly speaking and not accounting for fractions. I'm accounting for the lack of precision because you like to be accurate and, well, precise. This update is late because I've really been struggling with what to write. You'll learn (if you haven't already noticed) that when Mummy really wants to get something right what I often do is not do it at all or leave it until it's really late and do it poorly (because I can live with it if I rushed it). I hope this doesn't rub off on you (though I'm just going to say for the record that only good personality traits are inherited from your mum, okay?).

Hunter, I looked back and read your four year old update the other day and I am amazed at how much has changed in such a relatively short period of time. For you it doesn't seem short at all because it's 20 percent of your life but in the scheme of things it's a short period of time and you've changed immensely. Your little face isn't so little anymore. You've grown so much- you're the tallest kid in your class, your feet are too big for the cute little toddler shoes or the cool shark rubber boots, and you wear a size five (and not just a 5T anymore but a real five). You're getting so strong too - you can pull yourself quite far up the rope at gymnastics, you can do the backwards somersault on the incline, you can swim/float on your front or back for the five second count, and you can tickle me into submission (which is not cool by the way).

The part of you that hasn't changed, though, is your incredible heart. You are an amazing being and I constantly feel blessed to have you in my life. You give me faith that there is something greater in this world. You bring me tremendous joy and I can only hope that we are able to give you a fraction of what you give us every day.

Love you Little Man,

Love Mum (and Dad)

Five!

2008-02-25T06:29:00.001-07:00

H: Good Morning Mummy.

M: Good Morning. Happy Birthday Hunter!

H: It's my birthday!! Does this mean I'm five now?

M: Yep.

H: Wow!!! I'm really five now!!! Can I open my presents now?

Work, Work, Work

2008-02-22T13:27:00.009-07:00

I know, I know you shouldn't post about work on your blog. But it's hard not to seeing as it is taking up 10.5 hours of my day five days a week.

Mostly, I've been surprised at how easily I've transitioned back into work mode. On my first day I found myself editing the Briefing Notes my new boss had given me to bring me up to speed on my files. Not because she was asking that they be edited but because I'm a jerk who can't read anything (not published) without editing it (or at least really wanting to edit it you know, because I write so well - snort-).

By day two, I was working through an evaluation, writing some Briefing Notes, and asking for more work. Which reminds me of an old saying - think before you speak. Because you may not like the work you get, you may even have a serious problem with the direction that makes you feel a bit queasy. Or maybe you should think before you speak because you're just lazy. I kid, I kid. Actually, I figure if you're going to be chained to a desk for a good part of your day you might as well work your ass off and accomplish something.

By week two I found myself struggling through the file that was making me queasy. Who knew that a meeting of all things would save me? Those who know me know how I generally feel about meetings - I'm the one that often will be pretending to stab a pen into my neck as people drone on about how important their work is and how busy they are (because it isn't obvious that people are busy and important if they don't) . But this particular meeting, this meeting was good because as I was sitting there wondering when I should reveal myself as the obnoxious resister I am someone else spoke up first and raised many of the same concerns I had! Then there was dialogue and I went back to my office with determination and finished a draft of the document. A draft I could live with.

But the best part of my day? The best part of my everyday sounds a bit like this "Mommy!!!" or "Mommy's home!!!" and of course the sound of the fastest crawl you can imagine accompanied by a squeal and a giggle (Julia's version of "mommy!!!"). Ah, life is good.

One Year (and a bit)

2008-02-18T12:50:00.004-07:00

Dear Julia:

A year really has gone by since you were moving around inside my tummy, or more accurately, kicking, punching and wanting out. You'd had enough. Kind of like you'd had enough of that not moving around stuff and rushed to roll and then crawl. Now you're into everything you can get your hands on. You have a particular fondness for shoes, wallets, phones, and remotes. I imagine I could infer something about what kind of a woman you'll be from that but it's much more fun to watch it unfold rather than speculate.

Instead of talking about all the wonderful things you do, though, I'm going to attempt to capture Hunter and your relationship. But first, I do have to tell you that one of my favourite things you are doing right now is arm farts. If there's someone in the vicinity wearing a short-sleeved shirt, you like to lean over like you're doing something sweet like giving a kiss and then surprise them with the loudest fart sound you can muster. Then you come up with a giant grin on your face. This will go on for as long as your victim is willing to take it. I'm not sure where you learned this little gem but it is definitely among your favourite games.

As for you and Hunter, I love watching the two of you in the mornings. It's kind of like your special time together to play. Usually you guys are fairly in sync with when you wake up but occasionally you're up first, and when you are you can't stand it if Hunter's not up. Instead of taking advantage of some just parents and you time, you like to get as close to Hunter as possible and whap him a few times to see if he'll wake up. You like to look right into his face and say "hi, hi, hi Huntah." If that doesn't work and you're able to stand next to him (like if he's crawled into our bed in the morning and you've managed to sucker us into letting you in as well) you jump, right next to him to shake him out of his slumber. Lucky for you he always wakes up in a good mood in the mornings.

I was thinking I should probably take you right out of the room so that Hunter can get that extra bit of sleep those mornings, but the other day when he was the first one up (which is more usual) I watched him pacing around trying to get you to wake up. I asked him to let you sleep and he said he would but I noticed he kept coming up with excuses to go into the room and when he thought I wasn't looking he put his face next to yours and whispered "Julia, it's time to get up and play." I chased him out again only to find him in there a few minutes later holding your hand and talking to you as you slept. That didn't work either and Hunter was devastated because he was worried he was going to have to go to school without having gotten his Julia playing time in. That's about the only morning I can think of in recent memory where you guys haven't had your bit of playing time together.

What exactly do you guys do together? Well, it seems you like to play dinosaurs, zoo, cars, trains, dolls, castle, and store. Pretty much everything (except for puzzles, which you eat and games, which you tend to destroy). I like when Hunter is playing something by himself and you crawl (or furniture walk) over and instead of getting mad when you inevitably knock over something he's playing with he just factors you in to his play - "ah the giant baby is attacking!!" Other than that, you guys mostly like to chase each other. He likes to read to you, or at least tell you about the pictures (especially since he saw on PBS that you should be read to at least 15 minutes a day). Sometimes I think it's like you have three parents because Hunter is so protective of you. You're one lucky girl. And we couldn't be luckier to have you in our lives - I can't imagine the world without you.

Love you my Mungry,

Love Mum

Best Email Ever

2008-02-15T20:31:00.003-07:00

From: Jason
Sent: February 15, 2008 3:00 PM
To: Me
Subject: House/Kids/Cleaning

Hi Honey,

I hope you're having a good Friday and after work you can enjoy a 3 day long weekend, even though we'll be busy with Julia's Party and getting it ready.

I have a question? How do you do it??? The house is looking okay, but how do you manage the time and such? I think we might sit down Sunday or Monday and try to figure out a plan. I might be overthinking this, I don't know.

See you when you get home,

Love you,

Jason

One Year Old Vitals

2008-02-14T21:55:00.002-07:00

What you find out when you take your baby for four needles on her first birthday, she's:
16 pounds
71 centimetres
3rd Percentile
One tough but achy birthday girl

Letter to come.

Work, Work, Work

2008-02-13T19:11:00.001-07:00

Observations on my return to work:

Things change a lot but not that much.

Odds and Ends

2008-02-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

My January to do list was accomplished (for the most part) by the end of January! Completed without a self-congratulatory post (well, until now, that is). I haven't thought of anything for February so probably more of the same.

I'm not going to post ughs or about wagoneering (wagoning?) anymore but I'm still plugging away and doing okay. In hindsight I would have spent less of this past year worrying about it but that is much easier said than done.

Besides that, I wouldn't change this last year at all. I'm so greatful that I had this time home with my babies. I think I took just the right amount of time because I'm ready to go back and I definitely wasn't a month ago. Hunter cried when I tucked him in tonight because he "likes it better when I'm home" but he'll be just fine, he's going to have lots of time to get his Dad on a routine (and I'm sure he'll enjoy the lack of crazy).

When she's not chasing Hunter around, Julia crawls around after me and yanks on my pants to pull herself up or uses the back of my knees for support as she walks behind me. It's going to be tough leaving my little shadow tomorrow but Jason tells me that her tears always cease the minute I'm out the door (usually as he's trying to rush me out the door).

I'm not entirely sure what I'm going back to but I do know I've got great colleagues and can guarantee that within a week I'll be writing briefing notes (I just hope most of them aren't for speeches). Some day I will attempt to capture what exactly it is I do half as brilliantly as Palinode captured what he does.

Self Analysis ala Facebook

2008-02-10T21:15:00.001-07:00

According to some application on facebook, my Beatles song is Hey Jude. This means the following:

You are a little hesitant and insecure when it comes to taking action, but the truth is you are extremely capable and full of life and hope, and are a natural leader. You are an idealist and you often wish that there was something you could do to make society a little better. Although you can be overdramatic when faced with obstacles, you have a strong support group of people who love you who will be there to set you back on your feet. Sometimes you have difficulty opening your heart and expressing your feelings because you are worried that people won't accept you, so you act nonchalant and cool. However, you are slowly learning to let people into your heart and let go of your fears.

I'm sure any of the Beatles songs that I could have been would have been among my favourites since most of them are but I like that I'm Hey Jude because Hey Jude influenced our decision to name Julia Julia much like Hell's Angels: The Strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs (the first book Jason and I read together way back when) informed our decision to name Hunter Hunter. I like that it's Hey Jude because I often sing Hey Jules (terribly off-key) to Julia. As far as the analysis goes, I'm totally a natural born leader but I am not overdramatic I mean come on, me? Dramatic? Nooo.

1996 is Astonished

2008-02-01T23:40:00.000-07:00

Facebook compelled me to dig up some photos from the 90s. When I was digging through my scraps of poems, pictures, and ticket stubs I came across a letter my Dad sent me in 1996:

"What do you think of the letter with the pictures on it? I got a couple more toys for the computer - a digital camera that hooks up to the computer and a colour Epson printer. The quality of these pictures isn't great because I don't have any photograph paper but when I get some they say it will be as good as a photograph or almost anyway."

It's hard to imagine that 11 and a half short years ago we were astonished with digital cameras and our ability to print pictures. Hunter's generation won't even be able to imagine a world without digital cameras, cell phones, personal computers, laptops, etc. Even now when I take a picture with a regular camera, Hunter can't understand why he can't immediately see the picture.

Coping

2008-01-29T13:05:00.001-07:00

Q: What do you do to entertain the kids when it's colder than hell outside?

A: Cut up oranges, make cucumber sandwiches, dress for the beach and have an indoor beach picnic.

This afternoon we're going to make moon sand castles.

All of Your Friends That Live in Western Canada are Cold

2008-01-29T10:21:00.000-07:00

One way to differentiate where my facebook friends live is by their status updates these past couple days. Anyone living west of Manitoba has some variation of I'm f#$cking freezing as a status update. Yesterday we had a blizzard and today it's clear but -50 with the windchill. This isn't particularly abnormal for January or February in Regina (we usually get about five days of this - the year Hunter was born Regina was the coldest place on earth the day before he arrived). I'm spending the day being thankful that I took a one month extension on my maternity leave so the kids and I can be inside with no plans to go anywhere. Now if February can just be unseasonably warm everything will be good.

Mum, Mum, Mum - Come Watch My Play

2008-01-26T23:49:00.000-07:00

When I was little my cousin used to come over fairly frequently. There was a bit of a ritual to the visits. When she arrived we would sing her nickname to the tune of Batman. We'd maybe play a game or two of hide and seek then my brother would ditch us and we'd play dolls or the Game of Life. Without fail, we would inevitably decide that the best possible thing we could do to entertain ourselves and the adults (or insects as we called them at the time) would be to perform a play. I remember sensing that the novelty had worn off rather quickly as our disinterested audience would sigh and look on (I'm sure this wasn't the case the first time we came up with this brilliant idea) but that didn't stop us from performing again and again.

I have to admit, though, that I never really appreciated the tedium until today when I sat through two dozen plays. The first one was adorable, the second one was pretty cute too, even the third one was decent, but by the time I watched a fourth plot-less play I understood. I understood exactly why those plays were the cue every time for "oh dear, look at the time we really should get going." This, of course, would be followed by another ritual on our part - the hiding of the cousin. Thankfully Hunter has been performing his plays solo - they're puppet shows really and there really isn't much need to hide the puppets because that would be too much like cleaning his room.

Inevitable

2008-01-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

When I first started this blog one out of five entries was basically about how I couldn't think of anything to say or anything worth reading. Lately, I've been feeling the same way. I'll have ideas pop into my head about what I could write and then I think they're not particularly interesting anyway. I seem to have fallen out of the groove. For a while I was thinking in blog: "ooh two parents pushing their kids on the swings one with a cellphone attached to her ear the other with a wireless headset, this will be great for a rant on my blog." I don't know if this is an extended or temporarly lull. I'd like to blame facebook but I really haven't been using it much lately either (something about all the applications clogging it up, I think - besides, I think I've caught up with just about everyone by now).

What I have been doing lately is cleaning, cooking, and baking like mad in preparation for my return to work. I don't know why because Jason will have six or seven months off and is perfectly capable of doing those very things, but I feel compelled. The cooking and baking I enjoy, but the cleaning is getting me down. I had this plan to do a thorough cleaning and organizing on one room per couple days but before I had a chance to move on to the third room the first one already needed redone *deep sigh.* Maybe I shouldn't have started with the kids room?

11 Months plus 1

2008-01-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, less than one month until you hit the big one year mark. I think I've captured most of your milestones this month in some other entries so I won't spend too much time on that. I'm still obsessing over your foot and walking but you are such a proficient crawler I can kind of see why you are happy to get around that way. Turns out you are trying to get a total of six teeth in the span of a month instead of just four so you've been suffering a bit but overall have still been remarkably happy.

Our days of getting up at 6:30 with Hunter, having breakfast and then sneaking back to bed for a power nap while he watches Sesame Street are coming to an end (we've got a little over three weeks left). I will miss our time together but I am happy that you and Hunter and your Dad will get a few months together. He's nervous about it so be good to him. You'll all do great and I will enjoy watching your face light up when I come home from work (so make sure it lights up enough to cover the bit of crying I'm sure to hear in the mornings).

Love Mum

The Trouble With Underwear Continues

2008-01-11T13:31:00.001-07:00

Late this morning after Hunter had shown no interest at all in getting dressed I pulled together a pair of jeans, a shirt, socks, and underwear and asked that he get dressed. The underwear had bats on them. He took one look at them and said "Mum, these are not winter underwear, these are Halloween underwear". To which I replied "Hunter, it doesn't matter because nobody is going to see them anyway." He sighed, "I'll see them every time I go to the bathroom." And louder sigh, "I'll go get a pair that I can wear." He proceeded to grab the underwear and with another sigh headed to his dresser. He pulled out a red pair with trains on them and said "These are winter underwear." Like, duh, Mum.

One to Four Baby

2008-01-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

Julia has sprouted three more teeth! I also broke down and bought a pair of the killer baby shoes to see if they would help her with her walking. So far, they don't seem to be much better than bare feet as the one foot will still bend the wrong way but the laces sure are fun to untie (for Julia anyway).

Resolving

2008-01-05T13:24:00.001-07:00

In other years Jason and I have sat down and written a list of things we would like to accomplish the next year. Usually the list gets put somewhere and all but forgotten. The last couple of years we ignored resolutions all together. This year, I've decided that part of my procrastinating problem is that I tend to not break things into small achievable tasks instead overwhelming myself with a daunting list. As such, rather than a list of yearly resolutions, I'm going to try to make a small list of things I would like to accomplish each month. My hope is that the sum of these will be an improvement over the year (in my procrastination if nothing else).

Here's January:

1-2 blog entries per week
Start Catch 22
I haven't seen my syllabus for my latest class but in expectation of a paper - start the research in January instead of waiting until a week or two before the thing is due
Ensure the kids get outside at least for a walk each nice day this month (by nice I mean minus 10 and warmer)
Yoga three days a week, swimming at least two
Call Service Canada
Book Hunter's Birthday Party space
Enjoy my last month at home with the kids

Will let you know how I make out. I'm thinking getting the head start on the research will prove the most challenging.

Holiday Highlights

2008-01-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

The blog has suffered due to... well, December. In lieu of a number of well thought-out posts (has this blog had any well thought-out posts lately?), what follows are strung-together words attempting to capture the moments that made my holidays.

Hunter's Christmas Concert - I posted a video on that other blog but it just touches the surface. There was lots of practicing of the poem ("Rudolph's Colourful Noses") and the song ("The Itsy Bitsy Snowflake"). There was a handmade invitation brought home from pre-school. There was Hunter's excitement and nerves after the dress rehearsal and leading up to the concert (he was up at 4:30 that day). There was an audience full of parents filming and photographing. There were tears of pride in our eyes, not only because our big guy was on the stage making our hearts swell but also because our girl was sitting with us clapping and trying to sing along. I had no idea I could feel the way I did when watching a Christmas concert but I'm glad I got to experience it (and will get to experience it again and again).

Christmas Crafting - We made hand and thumbprint tree paintings, candy cane reindeer, glitter snowflakes, picture frames, "a wall" painting, sugar cookies for gifting, and a snow globe. Hunter made jingle bells and door hangings with friends. He brought home a reindeer pot and a candle holder from school. The feeling I got when seeing Hunter beam with pride over what he had created is hard to describe but undoubtedly fulfilling.

Christmas Countdowns - When my niece was around six, my parents started a Christmas countdown tradition that saw them give 24 tiny(ish) wrapped gifts to be opened each day in lead up to Christmas. Hearing about her breaking into the countdown box (after the pockets of the first year were destroyed) and nagging to open the next present was rewarding enough that four grandchildren later, the tradition continues (and grows). Last year, Hunter got so accustomed to the daily ritual of gift opening that he was surprised when on Boxing Day there wasn't a countdown present to open. This year, he caught on to the concept (this may have been aided by the countdown he brought home from school and his Polar Express countdown). Each morning, Hunter would stumble out to the living room, retrieve and unwrap a present, then run into our room to excitedly announce what he received ("I can't believe they got me a ... I always wanted a ...", "Wow, craft supplies!!! Now we won't have to run to the craft store!!"). After breakfast a new magnet would be added to the Polar Express countdown. Next, a day would be marked off the calendar he brought home from school and he would count how many days were left until Christmas.

Wrapping Presents - I'm not particularly crafty. I think I'm a bit of an anomaly in my family that way. One of the things I do enjoy, though, is wrapping presents. I like to pick out the perfect paper, bow, bag, basket, tin, box, etc. and ensure that the present is packaged just right. My interest in this has been declining over the years but was reinvigorated this year by Hunter's keen interest in helping wrap the presents. He picked all the packaging this year and, aside from the presents he received from us, helped wrap every single one. They may not have looked perfect, but they were beautiful to me.

The Rise of the Menace - I can not stress enough how different my two monsters are. I don't really remember Hunter playing much before he was a year and a half. I don't remember having to keep things stapled to the ceiling much before he was walking. Julia, on the other hand, is in to everything and anything she can reach and everything is a toy (or at least has the potential to be one). Christmas was particularly fun for her. From unwrapping presents way before Christmas to chewing on shephards from the manger, extra decorations and clutter meant non-stop destruction (which of course means fun).

Christmas Morning - When I see the sea of wrapped gifts under the Christmas tree I always feel a bit sick. Aren't we trying to ensure our kids are not too materialistic or greedy? But we're guilty of contributing to it too. The last two years, my favourite sound on Christmas morning has been the gasp from Hunter when he spied his gifts from Santa. That sound, I figured, captured all the excitement of Christmas. This year, the best action and sounds from Hunter on Christmas morning was when he stopped mid-way through opening his stocking to run to the tree and grab all the gifts from him for everyone. He was as excited about seeing everyone open what he had picked out, made, and wrapped as he was about digging into his own loot. Maybe the stuff we're trying to teach the kids the rest of the year sticks even through the holidays that break all the rules.

December Hunterisms - What would the holidays be without a few odd phrases heard from Hunter? Here are some of my favourites this month: "crazy" (this is said about basically anything - in excitement, about himself, etc.), "some certain Dad" (as if there might be a plethora of Dads around), "Nobody is ever going to believe this story" (while riding on the quad with Grandma and ~gasp~ Julia).

All I Want For Christmas is a tooth, a tooth, a tooth!! - Somewhere between Christmas and Boxing Day without much fuss or complaint a perfect, beautiful tooth emerged at last. Merry Christmas, toothy grins are not far behind!

A sliding, skiing, snowshoeing Christmas vacation - I've been stubborn about travelling at Christmas since Hunter was born. I figure it is just safer to stay home and host Christmas. This year, we rented a van and drove to my parent's place for the holidays. There is talk of making this an every couple of years event. I can't imagine a much better gift for Hunter because once we got there there was virtually no shopping and plenty of time spent outside (sliding at least once a day, skiing and snowshoeing for the adults, and of course the hot tub which Hunter views as his own personal place to demonstrate all he has learned in swimming lessons no matter how much water is lost). I'll take this opportunity to note that the daily exercise did little to prevent the inevitable (I think) Christmas pounds.

First steps on New Years day! - This one isn't a December but it is definitely noteworthy so I'm squeezing it in here anyway. This evening, Julia took her first independent steps (three times). Hunter was dancing and she was sitting on the floor - she stood up (I think to dance) and surprised herself by taking a step forward. She tried it two more times right away. I'm starting to think she has a thing for holidays... born on Valentine's Day, first tooth on Christmas, first steps on New Years (and we're thinking she probably did something wonderful on all the other holidays and we just didn't catch on).

10 Month Old Mungry

2007-12-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

My sweet little monkey, you're ten months old. Ten months old!

This month I've thought about running down to the computer to type/brag about all of the fun things you are doing more times than I can count because this month your development exploded.

Where to begin?? Well, you're clapping, and not just indiscriminately anymore. The other day we took you to watch a friend play hockey and you clapped when they scored. You wave goodbye to me or Dad or Hunter when we leave (or come home). You've started saying Daddy instead of dadad (Mum is still Maaaa). You do kisses. You're starting to get possessive over toys and give Hunter a run for his money (but he is taking it in stride). You've started that throwing things game and when we ignore you in public, you work strangers to pick up your stuff or play your game.

You're still cruising around furniture and have occasionally stood independently, but you haven't started walking yet. The Doctor tells us you may have to wear special shoes to support your foot and ankle. Your foot is something we've been watching since you were born: when you were born it would bend both ways (against your calf and against your shin) because of how you were positioned inside. We were relieved a few months ago when we found out there would be no casts involved and that it was straightening out on its own but we thought we would take you in for another checkup because you've been crawling for quite some time and we thought for sure you would walk early but you seem to have a bit of trouble with forward movement with the one foot especially. We're still letting you walk without those horrible baby shoes for now because Mummy comes from a long line of people that believe bare feet are best for new walkers (or Robeez in winter) but we're keeping an eye on the foot and will buy you those terrible shoes if that's what you need.

Remember a few months ago when I was certain you'd have teeth by my next month update (it was summer so must have been five or six months)? Well, you still have a wonderful toothless smile. We know they're in there, but they just aren't looking to make an appearance any time soon. I'm thinking you'll get almost a full set at once which is smart because you'll get most of the pain over with at the same time. But you don't let your lack of teeth stop you from trying new foods. You're trying everything. And while Hunter had an affinity for orange foods (you know, cheese, squash, sweet potatoes, oranges), you seem to have a love for white foods like chicken, bananas, potatoes, rice (but really, you love almost everything you try). Bananas are hands down your favourite, though. If we let you, I think you would be content if your entire diet consisted of only bananas (and milk). When someone is eating a banana near you you scrunch up your nose, reach out your hand with a gimme motion, and make a sound that clearly means "give that to me" (even though it sounds more like huh huh huh).

You and Hunter continue to amaze me. You guys are the best team I could imagine and I love watching you play together. This month you guys have developed a chasing game - Hunter runs down the hallway and you crawl after him and tackle him if you catch him, then you both laugh. You guys are still playing hide and seek but he's getting better at hiding now that you're onto him when he hides under the blanket. You play dinosaurs, cars, ninja turtles, dress up, farm, and baby toys together and I really can't imagine two closer siblings.

Julia, I am so happy you are in my life. I love you more than you can imagine.

Love Mum

Doubling and Tripling Up

2007-12-05T11:55:00.001-07:00

I've always been lucky with Hunter. He is such a helpful and independent boy. From the age of three (and maybe even younger) he's been getting himself ready in the mornings. I used to lay out his clothes the night before and while I caught an extra five winks or hopped in the shower he would get dressed. I don't know if this is just survival instinct in the face of the most disorganized mother on the planet or if he's just plain brilliant, but I'm going to cross my fingers and hope that it's due to the latter.

These last few months he has been picking out his own clothes. There have been some interesting choices but for the most part he manages pretty well. The other day he couldn't decide which shirt he wanted to wear so he decided that two would be fine. I figured it's cold out so no harm in wearing two shirts (besides he looked quite fashionable with his navy long sleeve under his Spiderman shirt). A little while later he confessed that he had also had trouble deciding if he should wear his scooby boxers or his cars boxers so he had decided to go with both. Odd, but what could it hurt? The boy has so much underwear that I could skip doing laundry for two weeks and he'd still have plenty of pairs to choose from. He decided doubling up his underwear was cool so he did it the next two days as well. I humoured him but when he put on three pairs yesterday and looked like he was wearing two pairs of pants, I drew the line. So now he's back to one pair of underwear and I'm just waiting to see what he'll double or triple up next. Crazy boy.

Reality Calling

2007-12-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today I got a phone call from my new boss. The call brought relief and an abatement of much of the anxiety I've been having about whether or not I'll still have a job when the post-election dust settles:

B: Hi, I'm so and so and I'm looking forward to meeting you. I thought I would call to see exactly when your return to work date is.
M: Um, well it's January 9th officially but I have been contemplating pushing it out a month ...
B: Oh, wow that's soon. Great. I want to be sure we have your new office ready and a computer set up, etc.
M: Great, I wasn't sure if I'd be coming back to the Department or not with all the changes. I had actually thought I might end up over at xyz.
B: We're willing to fight to keep you here. Big overview of the upcoming workload and ambiguity that needs to be sorted out.
M: Maybe I should come into the office and meet you and we could talk a bit more about this. I've been planning to come in for a while but I wasn't sure how busy things would be with all the change.
B: That would be great. How's Friday?
M: Sure, I'll also let you know for sure if I plan to change my back to work date and to when.
B: Okay, see you then.

When I hung up I realized that I had had hope wrapped up in all my anxiety as well. At some level I guess I was hoping that an external shake-up would give me a few more months at home. How much time have I wasted while I've been home anyway? I thought I realized its preciousness all along, but now that I've got so little left, there's so much more I wish I had done.

Welcome December

2007-12-02T13:53:00.000-07:00

I am so happy you are here. And it's not just because I'm really happy to say goodbye to November and the colds, flues (?), papers, presentations, election results, jop speculation, and reflective sadness it brought. It's also because I love everything you bring with you: get togethers, garish decorations, gluttony (of many varieties), and my personal favourite, anticipation. Ah, sweet December, welcome.

Wagonish

2007-11-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or is it seeming more and more like Halloween turns into Christmas? Am I the only one that find it unreasonable to be in a store on November 1st and hear Christmas carols? Wouldn't it at least be more decent to wait until after Remembrance Day? I guess there just aren't enough consumer tie-ins with people giving their lives. This rant is clearly outdated as it is now almost December 1st and Christmas carols are more than acceptable. I've even started my shopping now.

I only point out this quick transition as a way of distracting from my dismal record this month which I blame on Halloween candy, late nights working on terrible papers, and the gym being closed for three weeks for maintenance (okay just the pool but I took it as a three week pass nonetheless). I haven't done the measurements but given lack of much activity other than yoga I imagine they are about the same. I'm down another 5lbs for a grand total of 47 since baby which wouldn't be bad except that I'm also getting over the flu so it may mean I'm really about the same. I'm going to count them anyway because that will make me work harder to keep 'em off over Christmas.

The pool is up and running, my last class is on the 1st and I'm not even going to start baking for another two weeks so I'm thinking this month should let me shed a few more. A return to work is creeping ever closer and I'm determined to be ready for work-clothes shopping, Christmas or not.

Happy Nine Months

2007-11-14T22:03:00.001-07:00

This month's update is short and sweet (kind of like you).

Here are some highlights of what you've been up to this month:

We found out tonight that you are 14lbs, 14oz when you took your flu shot like a trooper.

You'll still crawl to get from point A to point B, but if you can walk instead, you will. Not that you're walking independently, just that if there is furniture around to be used, you will use it. One of your favourite things to do is crawl into the bathroom to use the tub to stand up (especially if Hunter is trying to have a bath). You're also a fan of crawling over to Hunter's bunk and using it to stand up. Or his toy bins. Or the couch. Or the chairs around the table.

The one thing you don't seem to have much interest in using is that transitioning walking/car toy I bought you. Hunter quite likes it though, so he's been encouraging you whenever he can (and riding it over you occasionally).

Speaking of Hunter, you two are quite the team. Most mornings you'll play in Hunter's room together for an hour or so uninterrupted. This time is precious. It means I can get some much needed stuff done around the house (or just zone out in front of the television or with a good book for an hour).

One of your favourite games to play with Hunter is peak (or hide and seek). He seems to think that if he hides under a blanket you'll never be able to find him, but you're onto him.

As for you and I, we are still trying to take Yoga together. I say trying because it is getting more interesting all the time. While you used to relax on the mat while I attempted all sorts of poses around you, you are now more interested in sneaking off to see the other babies. Or more accurately, their toys, food and soothers (not that you'll take your own soother anymore). See also, Fun with Julia post on this exact topic posted earlier.

You and Dad are having lots of opportunities to bond with my various classes. You're definitely still a Mum's girl but you and Dad are getting closer all the time. I don't think any of us can compete with Hunter, though: you are that boys biggest fan right now (and he yours). I'm going to remind both of you of this in a couple of years when you are inevitably fighting non stop.

Love you babe.

A New High (or Low)

2007-11-14T11:48:00.001-07:00

Posts have been scant this past week and a bit as I have been in the midst of finishing up a terribly boring paper on equalization. Many of you have no doubt heard me complain about it so I won't get into that now. I've been complaining a lot even though I'm entirely responsible for my situation - I took the class, I chose the topic, I procrastinated. Last night as I was working away on my paper, I took procrastination to a whole new level when I looked it up on wikipdia. In case your anxiety, perfectionism, or other such disorder are inducing you to avoid completing tasks: here's what wikipedia has to say on the matter. I wonder what people did before internet?

Perspective

2007-11-08T07:36:00.000-07:00

4am
Jason: Ugh, it's snowing outside. Guess I should have put the lights up yesterday. I know it's November but this sucks.

7am
Hunter: Wow!!! There's snow on the trees, on the trees, Mum!!! Oh, but there isn't much on the ground yet. Can I go out and play in it after breakfast?? Please, Mum, please??