For Grandpa

For Aunt Sue

Since you share a birthday, it only makes sense that you share a love of rodents...

Winter, Justin and Boh - thanks so much for this rat, I love love love that Julia has a stuffy that inspires as many comments from strangers as Hunter's spider did.

Four!

See those pajamas that that monkey is wearing? Those were yours and they didn't even fit you until you were a couple months old! When I think back over the past four years, my mind boggles at all that you have learned and accomplished. From the moment you were born you were a peaceful and content soul (which is not to say that you were not busy and incredibly active - because believe me, you were and are). You have enriched our lives in more ways than I can count and I know that I am a better for knowing you. Seeing things through your eyes has provided me with an incredible opportunity to experience everything for the first time again and appreciate things in a whole new way. I am so proud of how strong and smart and sweet you are. I am touched by how wonderful you are to your new sister even though her arrival has meant our world orbits two suns instead of one. I love the hugs, kisses, and I love yous you so willingly give and dread the day when you are too big to freely hug and kiss mum anymore (though at the same time I can't wait to see what you are like then because every age and stage so far has been better than the last). Happy Birthday Hunter, I could not be prouder to be your mum, I love you.

And who knew dinosaurs would stand the test of time?

Content

First off, I've had a million blog topics running through my head the past week but haven't had or made the time to sit down and put any of them down. When things settle down I think I'll have some subject matter for a while, for what it's worth.

I was reading Today on Oprah the other day and the "where do you plan to be in five years" question mentioned in one post got me to thinking about just how terrible I am at answering that question or planning that far ahead for that matter. Regardless, I have to say that this lack of planning either works well for me or I've just been incredibly fortunate (or maybe both).

When I was in my second year of university I decided that I was not going to take journalism afterall (not only would taking journalism mean I would have to reign in run-on sentences but some cynicial character at the Prairie Dog successfully discouraged me with talk of media conglomeration and terrible pay). Following that change in plans we decided we might as well move to Edmonton as stay here. I mean I could just as easily take political science at the U of A and where else did I have friends who I had gone to kindergarten with, who had seen me at my best and worst (I'm not just talking cam-a-la-puke either), and for whom I would be in their wedding party seven weeks after giving birth? A series of small events and a flat tire are really the only things that kept us in Regina - no serious thought went into the decision to stay (though in planning to move we came to the realization that we really had come to love this city and had made some great friends). I have no idea what our lives would be like if we had moved back and I'd be lieing if I said we don't still think about it at times, but things have been good for us here. While I'm not likely to run out and purchase an I love Regina t-shirt (mostly because I was born in the late seventies and we're a generation that is far too jaded and cynical to do any such thing) this is home, this is where we have built our family, developed great friendships, and where I have found the career that I love (at least for now and admittedly a lot more in non-election years).

A visit from a friend yesterday followed by an email brought on all these sappy feelings (possibly post-pregnancy hormone-induced) of just how fortunate we are. The friend came by to meet Julia (and Hunter and Jason) and was the most perfect guest - she patiently listened as an overtired Hunter told her about almost every single toy in his room, she held Julia (who didn't cry once), she told me how good I look (even though I currently look like a balloon with the air partially let out), and she complemented my house (even though I didn't get half the things done I had wanted to). It was great! After she left, I came downstairs to find an email from another friend with some updates on her recent vacation, stats test, etc., checking to see how things were going, and offering some Hunter-watching and company. Not only that, but the email mentioned getting together with another colleague who has also become a great friend in the last year. All these small and not so small things in a short period of time added up to a real appreciation for what we have here. The last four years, in particular, have been unbelievable and I wouldn't change a single thing.

Speaking of four years, I'm positive it's not coincidental that Hunter is four today. Post and pictures to follow...

Family Day - More Pictures

Introducing Julia Frances

Our latest addition, Julia Frances, was born at 6:34pm on Valentine's Day. She weighed 6lbs 14oz and was 19 inches tall.

As you can see, Hunter couldn't be prouder. He is a great big brother already.

Blogs will probably be fairly light for the next few weeks (with the exception of pictures).

Valentine's Day

Given that it's Valentine's Day I had been planning to write a blog entry titled mixology (about the matches we're in). Instead, it looks like a little Valentine's Day presentation (a bad pun even for me) may forever change Valentine's Day in our household. That's right, we're soon off to the hospital to see if the new addition is going to make an appearance today. Why the hell are you blogging you say? It's keeping my mind off things while Jason transports Hunter to his friend's place. I'm sure there are a plethora of spelling and grammatical errors but I can always edit these when I get back, right? Will keep you posted.

Hurtling towards the (late) 20th Century

Horror of horrors, Jason came home with a cell phone today. Clearly he must have mistook my reluctant acceptance of the cordless phone as a sign that I was ready to get with the times. Now instead of looking forward to him coming home from work, I'll be wondering what intrusive technology he'll thrust upon me next.

Neo-Luddism

While I may not be categorically opposed to technological advancements, I definitely have some irrational resistance to fully embracing technology. At least the telephone variety. I am one of the few people I know who still doesn't have a cell phone... Why would I want to be reached when I'm away from home - isn't that kind of the point? People who have witnessed me drunk and dialing or who have been on the receiving end of it may also agree that keeping cell phones away from me is not a bad idea. But that's another blog entry all together.

Last night the one phone in our household (think kitchen phone with a ridiculously long cord) died so I sent Jason out to pick up a new one because not being able to dial out right now would not be a good thing. For some unexplainable reason, I was mortified to see him return with a cordless phone. Everybody knows those things always die and don't work particularly well, or at least they weren't that great 20 years ago when they first came out. I suppose they could have made some improvements since that time, but really when you have a really really long cord why would you need a phone without one?

I'm not quite sure where this stems from but I suspect it may be because my Dad is the exact opposite of a Luddite. He's always the first one to buy the newest gimmicky thing usually before it has been well-tested and had the bugs removed. As a result, I have it in my head that new things just don't work that well (okay, in some cases I think that about things that have not been tried and true for at least a decade or two). But I do have to admit this new phone, it's pretty great. Did you know you could use these from any room in the house and they still work? Amazing.

National Energy Plan?

Disclaimer: this is the post that I started Thursday and didn't think it was good enough to use. Now that I've had almost three blog-less days I figure I better put something up...

Huh. Maybe the National Energy Plan that sparked my intellectual crush on Trudeau was not ridiculous. And maybe Tom Courchene's argument that resource -rich province's will assert some power on the national scene is also not crazy. Will be interesting to see how this unfolds. I can't imagine that it ever would have happened with Klein as Premier and it will certainly be interesting to see how Ottawa reacts if this ever gets off the ground.

http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2007/02/08/premiers-energy.html

Neglecterino

I started my first week off work with a mental list of things to accomplish. Hunter spent Monday and Tuesday at his day home (I don't want him to go into complete shock and I think he would miss the kids too much if we abruptly took him out so he's going part-time for at least February) so the week began with the big things best accomplished without the little fellow around. Item one: wash all the baby clothes - clearly this could have been accomplished just as easily with him home but I was starting off slow. Item complete. Item two: switch rooms with Hunter - this involves disassembling his bunk bed, moving other furniture, sorting through toys (for the third time since just before Christmas), assembling the crib and change table, etc. This is still in progress. On Monday I assumed this would all be done by Wednesday, but today the house is still in disarray - I had no idea how much stuff a four year old could accumulate let alone the amount of junk Jason and I had stuffed in our closet, etc.

Yesterday, my mental list had bake cookies with Hunter after getting home from the NST. I had mentioned this to Hunter, so check.

Today was slated for Valentine's cards. What I didn't plan on, though, was that my search for some reading material to combat the insomnia that accompanies pregnancy would result in me finding an excellent British mystery/thriller that I haven't been able to put down since. This is exactly how I am with a good Chuck Palahniuk only his novels are about a fifth of the length so I would be done by now. This one, I'm barely half way through. I wish I had found this on Monday - then my house wouldn't be in disarray and I could have laid around guilt-free reading it for two days. Instead Hunter has been occupying himself playing cars, trains, and dinosaurs and intermittenly coming in and asking when we can do Valentine's. I've been sending him back to tidy up whichever toy he has been playing with - cars, trains, or dinosaurs - first in hopes that he will again become entagled in playing. So far so good but seeing as I have taken time out from reading to blog, I will probably have a hard time rationalizing not getting things organized for Valentine's. As for my list of things to accomplish before baby comes - it's growing but maybe there are a few things that I have on there needlessly? Maybe I should add read at least one good novel (yes that's exactly what I should do).

Wednesday NST day/ Memory flood

Each Wednesday for the past few weeks I have had to trek to the hospital for a non stress test. Basically, it gives me a chance to listen to the baby's heartbeat and hear how the heartbeat changes as the baby moves. I have the luxury because, as it was with Hunter, my blood pressure has been getting higher as the pregnancy progresses. I don't think it is really all that high, just high for me. I'm usually border-line dead blood pressure-wise but when I'm pregnant my blood pressure seems to sky rocket. Every week there is the possibility of induction - if the baby's heartbeat drops too low after a movement or if my blood pressure stays too high while I'm being monitored. Last week we thought this was a real possibility and ran around the house washing things, trying to get ready, and no doubt artificially elevating my blood pressure. At the hospital my blood pressure was normal, half an hour later it was through the roof at the Doctor's office (as it had been in the morning when I did my first check of the day). We were sent back to the hospital for three hours of monitoring where again it was normal. Needless to say, I have lost any confidence in the equipment the hospital has given me for home monitoring. On the bright side, I'm not worried about induction today.

As the impending birth of this baby draws nearer, I have been thinking about Hunter's birth. It's amazing what you block out - usually when I think about it I just think about how I barely made it to the hospital and had him while my Mum was still registering me. How the day before Hunter was born Regina had been the coldest place on earth and thank God he waited an extra day. How I had been doing kick counts at home at 10pm and had Hunter by 10:30 at the hospital. How he scored a 9 on the apgar. How wonderful and indescribable it was seeing him and holding him for the first time. How Jason had tears in his eyes. Lately, though, with all the seemingly needless testing I've had to do to ensure this baby is alright - I've started remembering a few other things that I had pretty much forgotten... how Hunter had the cord wrapped around his neck when he was born, how it didn't matter because the placenta was so detiorated that the cord fell apart when the Doctor touched it, how he hadn't really grown for the last couple of weeks, how his skin looked like that of an overdue baby even though he was a little bit early. He was still beautiful, and healthy, and perfect, but what I didn't realize until recently was how lucky we were that he was, how lucky we were that he came when he did (I suspect that's just how smart he is, he knew he had to be born). Part of why I haven't worried too much about how well this baby is doing despite all the testing is because everything tells me that it is healthier than Hunter was - it moves more and weighs more and maybe I have a little more faith that things will turn out okay than I did when I was pregnant with Hunter. With Hunter I often credit how wonderful a baby he was to the fact that I spent nine months worrying about him before he came - he didn't want to add any additional stress after he was born, and that's just the type of personality he has.

Identity

As all good Canadians (okay maybe just nerdy Canadian political science wonks) should, I am thinking about my identity today. Not about my identity as a Canadian but about my personal identity and why said identity should be in a minor state of crisis now that I know I am off work for almost a year. I know this happened the last time I was on maternity leave but somehow I didn't think it would this time what with Hunter home to keep my occupied and all. How did I ever let my work identity become so all consuming? Am I incapable of having some balance in my life? Don't get me wrong it's not like I come home and cut my husband off as he's telling me a story instead trying to get him to frame it into key messages first and background later - oh wait, I do. Uh, at least I haven't taken that approach with Hunter (I don't think...). I guess I'm just struggling to fully check out of work and only time can take care of that. I'd like to think that this time I will learn how to go back after fully enjoying my time off and be better able to balance my work and home life. I guess I have almost a year to figure it out but really I think it takes a lifetime and it probably doesn't help that it is in the stock that I come from...

The Bandwagon

Ah, I'm finally on the blog bandwagon. For someone who has never even been able to keep a diary consistently (say beyond the 10th of January) this should be an interesting exercise. Will post again once I see how this looks...