* Cracking brand spanking new text books full of ideas and potential
* My wonderful, exhausted, Julia actually going to bed on time (and it only took cutting out her nap and a couple hours of napless crankiness) - there really is nothing sweeter than sleeping children
* Hunter's palpable excitement about going back to school tomorrow
* An afternoon much better than the morning
All in all, a net positive.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Optimist Project
Savvy reader(s) may have noticed that I tagged my yesterday post Optimist Project. I am not naturally optimistic. I'm cynical, pessimistic and a chronic worrier.
I've been thinking that I have a million little things to be greatful for and that if I focus attention to consciously taking note of the little things that make me smile each day, I might not only hit the pillow more content each night but I might also, over time, condition myself to become more optimistic. You can expect to see these reflected on my blog.
Here's the trouble: I still have lots of things that make me crazy and there are going to be days where I just need to whine about the shit that is making me want to say fuck it and jump in my car and drive away.
Today is one of those days.
I don't want to drive away from family, I just want to escape from the job. Some days, it is the general soul-crushing nature of working in a bureaucracy that gets me. Today, however, it is the little things.
* It's the annoying Director from another ministry that calls my boss instead of me because his title is Executive Director - totally disregarding the reality that he won't know the answer to her questions because I am actually the contact for her ministry and on this file. The sense that it's the title that matters not the knowledge makes me nuts.
* It's the paper-flow processes that aren't working.
* It's the lack of clarity.
It's the sense of resignation all these things together create in me.
Huh. It's kind of like the opposite of my little optimist project. If the little positives together are what makes life worth living, maybe there is value in paying attention to the little negatives coupled together and thinking about what they, put together, do to me too. Huh. Need to file this away for further reflection.
To counterbalance the negative, this made me smile this morning:
* "Mummy, you look great!"
I've been thinking that I have a million little things to be greatful for and that if I focus attention to consciously taking note of the little things that make me smile each day, I might not only hit the pillow more content each night but I might also, over time, condition myself to become more optimistic. You can expect to see these reflected on my blog.
Here's the trouble: I still have lots of things that make me crazy and there are going to be days where I just need to whine about the shit that is making me want to say fuck it and jump in my car and drive away.
Today is one of those days.
I don't want to drive away from family, I just want to escape from the job. Some days, it is the general soul-crushing nature of working in a bureaucracy that gets me. Today, however, it is the little things.
* It's the annoying Director from another ministry that calls my boss instead of me because his title is Executive Director - totally disregarding the reality that he won't know the answer to her questions because I am actually the contact for her ministry and on this file. The sense that it's the title that matters not the knowledge makes me nuts.
* It's the paper-flow processes that aren't working.
* It's the lack of clarity.
It's the sense of resignation all these things together create in me.
Huh. It's kind of like the opposite of my little optimist project. If the little positives together are what makes life worth living, maybe there is value in paying attention to the little negatives coupled together and thinking about what they, put together, do to me too. Huh. Need to file this away for further reflection.
To counterbalance the negative, this made me smile this morning:
* "Mummy, you look great!"
Monday, January 4, 2010
Things that Made Me Smile Today
* High five wars with Hunter
* Julia's "I want to do [insert activity here] just like Hunter"
* Coming home to painted trim (thank you, Jason)
* First day back at work not being nearly as bad as I had anticipated
* Feeling more excited about what I might learn than overwhelmed by the workload of the two classes I'm registered in
* Feeling like I can't run another minute at 5K then making it to 10K
* Julia's "I want to do [insert activity here] just like Hunter"
* Coming home to painted trim (thank you, Jason)
* First day back at work not being nearly as bad as I had anticipated
* Feeling more excited about what I might learn than overwhelmed by the workload of the two classes I'm registered in
* Feeling like I can't run another minute at 5K then making it to 10K
Saturday, January 2, 2010
It's January so...
It's time to inevitable commit to losing the last of the baby pounds (plus a few more I'd put on before that pregnancy). I'm not sure that the twenty remaining pounds from the last pregnancy really count as the remainder of the baby weight any more, but thinking of it that way gives me a bit of a timeline for unloading it - Julia will be three on February 14th - three years is long enough to carry that extra twenty so I'm going to aim to get rid of it by then. It may not be entirely realistic but it gives me something to shoot for so time to get on it. Instead of any fad approach I'm just going to eat healthier, try to get more sleep and exercise more (including as a stress reliever). Training for the half marathon should help (I've got a long way to go, 10K is about what I'm capable of running now and I want to be much faster). Anyway, I'll keep blogland posted on both counts - I hope not to disappoint.
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