Hello Darkness My Old Friend

I've come to talk with you again... Okay, maybe not so much darkness but you get the idea. Where to begin...

For starters, my monkeys have both had birthdays and grown so much since I last blogged. In my mind I've written an 8.5 and 4.5 update so now the job is to just get these written down and soon before they are 9 and 5 (9 and 5?!?). I have just been lucky enough to spend the entire month of August with them (yes I took a whole month holidays, it was fantastic). Slowing down and just focusing on being their mum was such a gift and a good reminder of just how truly, truly lucky I am to have such amazing kids.

In other news, we've finally taken the big leap and purchased a new house. Now we're in the midst of trying to get this one ready to sell - it's a big job and not nearly as fun as when you are making home improvements for yourself. Up until recently, I had been having mixed feelings about the move. This is the house Hunter was born in, this is the area where the kids go to daycare, this is where Hunter's school and friends are and this area is close to so many things that we love. There just weren't any houses that were perfect in this area so we've had to move to another area - it's close but it will mean a new school and probably new daycares over time. Of course there is lots to love about the new area and Hunter has friends at the school already but I am a natural worrier and apparently change-averse. The recent event that shifted my state of mind? We recently hosted our annual football draft and after cramming a dozen adults plus kids in this place, I. can. not. wait! The new house has soo much more space. It's actually a house where there is lots of room for the kids to have friends over. It's a house with lots of room for superbowl parties, hosting Christmas and having friends visit. It is going to be awesome and I can not wait!

Overall,I am feeling unbelievably content these days. I must have some part of me that thinks I don't deserve to feel this way because even writing that down makes me nervous - am I about to set off some chain of events that will shake my world? I am a worrier so assuming something must go wrong soon is probably just part of my pathology. Also, I've got a few friends going through some stuff that is total crap and I'm feeling helpless and guilty about that even though I rationally know that this does no good and my misery would neither help them nor make their shit go away. In fact, my being in a good place probably makes me more able to be the friend they need right now, right? Okay so maybe my lesson is embrace (and enjoy) the good stuff.

Erm, Maybe in 2011

So I committed to do lots of stuff in 2010. Here's a refresher:
* Run 21K in a row, like a half marathon - this was later replaced with run 1000K in 2010. I did neither. I probably ran 500K in total mostly because I took a six month break. I'll plan to bump both of these to 2011.
* Finish my MPA - Yes! This one I did. I am finally done school. Forever. Forever!
* Learn how to do a bulleted list in blogger. I learned it but I don't apply it (like now, I'm totally not doing it).
* Blog more frequently. Compared to not at all I guess I can claim success. Clearly this is a limited success.
* Get my passport. Not yet, but there's still time (well to apply anyway).

I still think these things are worth achieving so I'm going to bump those I've yet to do (if you're counting it's all but one) to 2011. 2010 has been a good year for my career. The blog doesn't reflect this but once I got through the winter blahs, had a nice vacation and got a big promotion, things have been looking up. Considerably. 2011 will be about getting comfortable in the new role and getting my staff in place so I can delegate and improve my work-life balance. 2011 is going to be about focusing on what really matters, my family. I'm looking forward to another good year.

Weekend Smiles

* A bike ride through the park (Hunter can now confidently ride his bike)
* Gymnastics Julia
* Yoga with the monkeys
* A spirited game of tag
* Still, warm air

Office Space

I'll admit it, I googled can't work here any more just to see what would come up. Among other things, I found a reminder of why Office Space is one of my favourite movies of all time:

Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?

Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.

Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?

Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses.

Bob Slydell: Eight?

Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

Things I Learned Today (or maybe this morning and yesterday afternoon)

• I am not a professional. I don’t even like being professional.

• University is killing my self esteem. My job is killing my self esteem. Soon I will have no self esteem and will just start wearing sweat pants to work (dress sweats, if you will).

• I agree with the following as proposed by a friend:

o Your high school diploma will now be called your bachelor/bachelorette (it’s going to be uber feminism, baby) degree, your BA will be a Masters and further education will be known as elite douche-baggery.

o Upon seeking further clarification, a bachelorette can also be achieved by appearing on trashy reality TV shows but it is then referred to as a bachelorette with distinction.

• Douglas Coupland is my new literary hero (move over Vonnegut and Palahniuk). A prof recently told me you are what you read. Apparently I’m a subversive, job-hating depressive. I suppose that’s as accurate as anything.

• Despite being in a tiny bit of constant pain as a result of my stupid car v. bus accident, I appear to be climbing out of at least three months of depression. Woo hoo!

Oh yeah, as an aside... Hunter's Seven! post is in the works. I just need to add pictures then will get it posted.