Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Hello Darkness My Old Friend

I've come to talk with you again... Okay, maybe not so much darkness but you get the idea. Where to begin...

For starters, my monkeys have both had birthdays and grown so much since I last blogged. In my mind I've written an 8.5 and 4.5 update so now the job is to just get these written down and soon before they are 9 and 5 (9 and 5?!?). I have just been lucky enough to spend the entire month of August with them (yes I took a whole month holidays, it was fantastic). Slowing down and just focusing on being their mum was such a gift and a good reminder of just how truly, truly lucky I am to have such amazing kids.

In other news, we've finally taken the big leap and purchased a new house. Now we're in the midst of trying to get this one ready to sell - it's a big job and not nearly as fun as when you are making home improvements for yourself. Up until recently, I had been having mixed feelings about the move. This is the house Hunter was born in, this is the area where the kids go to daycare, this is where Hunter's school and friends are and this area is close to so many things that we love. There just weren't any houses that were perfect in this area so we've had to move to another area - it's close but it will mean a new school and probably new daycares over time. Of course there is lots to love about the new area and Hunter has friends at the school already but I am a natural worrier and apparently change-averse. The recent event that shifted my state of mind? We recently hosted our annual football draft and after cramming a dozen adults plus kids in this place, I. can. not. wait! The new house has soo much more space. It's actually a house where there is lots of room for the kids to have friends over. It's a house with lots of room for superbowl parties, hosting Christmas and having friends visit. It is going to be awesome and I can not wait!

Overall,I am feeling unbelievably content these days. I must have some part of me that thinks I don't deserve to feel this way because even writing that down makes me nervous - am I about to set off some chain of events that will shake my world? I am a worrier so assuming something must go wrong soon is probably just part of my pathology. Also, I've got a few friends going through some stuff that is total crap and I'm feeling helpless and guilty about that even though I rationally know that this does no good and my misery would neither help them nor make their shit go away. In fact, my being in a good place probably makes me more able to be the friend they need right now, right? Okay so maybe my lesson is embrace (and enjoy) the good stuff.