Wednesday, June 18, 2008

One Day, One Hour, One Moment

At a time. I used to think of this as a mantra for recovering addicts but now I realize it's just an appropriate mantra for recovery. Or for dealing with something that when considered as a whole is overwhelming and is marginally more accomplishable if broken down into smaller pieces. A mantra I am whole heartedly embracing at the moment. The other factor I often attribute to recovering addicts is the idea of acceptance. This one is harder and some days are better than others but I'm trying to embrace it as well. Sometimes, though, I have these moments where I feel like I'm healing but I'm not entirely sure that I'm not just compartmentalizing or denying because sometimes the realization rushes and it's overwhelming all over again. And this is probably where faith comes in - faith that something somewhere has a plan and I just don't understand. This might be the hardest one, and the most necessary. But there have been great moments these last few weeks too - like "Mummy!"and graduation, and hugs and kisses, and spotting an oriole when out for run. And we're hanging in there.

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