After two nights of watching political debates, and four weeks of reading almost everything on the election, I've come to a conclusion - there are three things that are desparately needed to improve this election:
1. more polls, that's right polls;
2. more sweater vests; and,
3. more one-liners
Never mind analysis of platforms, media organizations really need to devote more resources to polling. Six plus polling companies reporting each day just isn't enough for me to form an opinion on how to vote. I need to know how the intentions of voters change at least three times a day. Does breakfast make a difference to the appeal of Stephen Harper? Is the view of Canadians on Stephane Dion's leadership strengthened by a hungry man dinner? What about a cloudy afternoon - what does that do the prospects of a majority?
And platforms? They're for suckers I need more sweater vest visuals to really make a well-considered voting decision. I've seen Stephen and Stephane but can Jack and Gilles pull off the sweater vest? What about Elizabeth May? Isn't there a soy-based green sweater vest she could find? Policy is nothing - I really need to know who can rock the vest best. This is the stuff that really matters. And think about Canada's reputation oversees - if we aren't able to be at the forefront of fashion-past how are we to shine?
And last but not least, who is the king (or queen) of the zing? Either you don't care or your incompetent which is it? Where's your platform, under your sweater? Your approach is don't worry be happy. Just think how zingers could play out in federal-provincial negotiations. The entertainment factor of First Ministers' Meetings would go way up and what could be more important that a few good sound bytes?
You know what this election really needs? Beer. Oh wait, maybe that's me.