Tuesday, October 28, 2008
One of those Days
Today was one of those days where I found myself asking "is this really my life?". I wish I could say this is an infrequent question but lately I've been asking myself this question more and more. I've been fantasizing about quitting my job, selling our house, moving somewhere small (and cheap) and opening up a coffee shop (that would of course be thriving despite the depressed real estate market). I have moments where I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile but the truth is those moments are fewer and further between all the time. Maybe I'm just taking my grief that I've had no time for out on my career or maybe this lack of satisfaction is part of a professional woman and working mother's life? A couple weeks ago I had drinks with a friend and former colleague and we had this discussion. We're both in a bit of a place where work isn't satisfying like we'd hoped it would be. She sent me a note the other day saying she'd quit her job and took a new one that paid less but looked to be a lot more rewarding. I look forward to being inspired by how the change works for her. Right now I feel like I can't dig out. I feel like the Dad in parenthood that says his whole life is about responsibility. I feel guilty for feeling that way. I worry that my Dad spent half his life feeling this way. And that I contributed. Thankfully, tomorrow is another day.