On the Wagon

You may have noticed that there have been no ugh posts for quite some time. Initially I quit posting them because I had read a post about weight on my February babies board and was sickened by our almost universal level of obsession with our bodies. If I could find the thread, I'd put a few of the comments up because the body hatred is startling even though it's not all that surprising. I don't think any of us wants to leave this type of legacy with our children but, unfortunately, I'm sure many of us will. I did find, though, that without the posting I wasn't forced to do any checking in with how I'm doing at getting rid of the baby weight in a healthy way (unlike some of the women on my board). Being accountable in writing helps so I'm re-starting the monthly posts. My current update? I'm swimming twice a week, taking mom and baby yoga, and walking with the kids or doing yoga at home when they're napping. So far, I've lost 35 of the baby pounds (it was 40 but the lack of posting/accountability seems to have resulted in a couple of them coming back). Will update again next month, Thanksgiving and all.

Jumping on 102

So, as lazy as I've been with the posting as of late, I've still managed to make it to 102 posts. When another blogger I read posted her 100th post she posted 100 things about herself. Since I'm a shameless idea thief, I figured I would do something similar only it's my 102nd post. Here goes, some random facts in celebration of my 102nd post:

• I'm 31 years old and I can kick, stretch, and kick (this is an SNL reference - Hunter does a great impression of it - one of these days I will u-tube and post it).
• I am a Mum.
• I am a wife.
• I am a daughter.
• I am/was a sister. I'm not sure what is correct here but I had a brother and he is deceased.
• I am an aunt.
• I'm working on my MPA. I feel less compelled to complete it as I am more and more at peace with where I am in my career. At the same time, I want to finish it because I've started it. Look for me to retire and complete my MPA around the same time.
• I love my blog more when I post regularly. It's kind of like going to the gym - the more you do it, the more you enjoy it and when you've been away for a while, well you know. I also find it easier to rationalize not posting when the blogs I read aren't posting regularly either (hint hint).
• I have blue eyes.
• I wear dark-rimmed glasses that make it hard to see what colour my eyes are. I don't know why.
• I'm too chicken to wear contacts.
• I'm intrigued by lazer surgery but am too chicken to consider it right now either.
• I have a slight phobia of mascots (like I usually cross the street to avoid them if I see them). I think my kids may be the cure.
• I like saying my kids.
• I had a palm reading when I was younger and the only thing that sticks with me is that I was going to have three children (I always wanted two). I always thought I would have one child then twins. I used to joke that that would be a nightmare. I feel guilty about that because Julia had a twin that "vanished" at about six weeks. This is common and something we wouldn't have known about except for the technology (see I am justified in being a neo-luddite) of an early ultrasound.
• I often think about what life would have been like had we had two babies.
• I am so grateful for Julia and Hunter.
• I took an aromatherapy course when I was 19. I think I've forgotten nearly everything I knew.
• I worked at two health food stores before I went to University - I still remember enough about herbs and vitamins that I'm not surprised when a study comes out recommending that people start taking certain vitamins.
• I am currently avoiding the Postie (mail carrier). This stems from a recent incident where Hunter was knocking at the door because he had to go to the bathroom and couldn't get in. I was only partially dressed (pants and a sports bra) but weighed my chances of being seen against the likelihood Hunter would have an accident if I didn't get there pronto. The postie was putting the mail in the box at the exact moment that I opened the door (I think we are both scarred).
• I drive a Honda Civic.
• When I was 17 I told myself I would never be a passenger in my car more than a driver, but I find now that I'd just as soon be a passenger most of the time (except on the highway).
• Some day I think I would like to get a pilot's license.
• I like point form better than sentences because it's easier.
• I always mix up when I should use effect and affect.
• I looked up the spelling of indubitably the other day because I am never able to get it right.
• I no longer have tonsils, an appendix, and one of my fallopian tubes.
• No matter how old I get, I still don't like country music. I can take almost anything else.
• When I was little I wanted to be a lawyer, a writer, or a psychiatrist. I think I get to do a bit of all of these things in my job (and at home).
• I'm a policy analyst.
• Hunter did a career craft at pre-school the other day; he said he wanted to be a policeman. When he came home, he decided he wanted to be an astronaut. I love that he is dreaming about his future careers (and that he'll change his mind as much as I did).
• I am terrible at returning calls and emails. It doesn't mean I'm not thinking about or missing people; it's just a personality flaw. I have a few friends that are the same way and I often think it's miraculous that we manage to keep in touch at all.
• I never forward those chain emails but I do occassionally send them back to the person that sent them to me the number of times you're supposed to forward it. You know, in case they're supersticious. That way I can imagine them trying to come up with more people to send it to.
• My Mum told me that Dave Barry was right when he said people (strangers) stop seeing you when you are over 50. It kind of makes me look forward to being over 50 even though I'm not entirely convinced it's true.
• My most memorable fight ever with Jason went something like this... J: "Why are you all steaming mad?" C: "Yeah, I'm the fucking rug doctor." I don't remember what it was about but it ended right then as we both started laughing.
• I always vote with my heart. I feel it's okay because Jason and I vote as a team and he gets the task of strategic voting.
• I don't think people always get my sense of humour.
• I'm thinking it would be fun to plan a birthday party for Jason and instead of playing poker (or some other typical adult fun) we'd play pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs, blind man's bluff, and have loot bags. Drinking would still be required (maybe even more so).
• The other day I came across a card that Jason and I had picked up for my brother in law a couple years ago. We had put it away and forgotten about it. It's still funny. We are thinking of seeing if we can find more so we can send him the exact same card for five years in a row to see if he notices.
• I am cynical but I sometimes think people that have faith are wiser.
• I like office and school supplies.
• I worked in a call centre and am still not entirely over my hatred of the phone.
• I love pedicures. It's been a really long time since I had one.
• I never feel like I am doing enough.
• I don't feel responsible for the good qualities in my children only the bad habits.
• I wish I was more organized.
• I am using bullets instead of numbers so that how short of 102 I am will be less apparent.
• I think about what I could be writing on my blog all the time but am not great at finding the time to actually write it down.
• I started this a few days ago and am publishing it even though it's short of 102 because blogger keeps entries in chronological order not posting order (note the date).
• I re-published my policy-parenting post because I decided it was how I felt at the time and my blog should represent that.
• I am happy. I am content. What people say about life in your 30s is true. It's much better than the 20s.

P.S. Thumbs are for Suckers

One other thing, Julia. You usually suck your two middle fingers kind of like you're making the devil horns sign in reverse. This picture doesn't quite capture it but hopefully the descriptor gives you some idea.

Seven Months and One Day Update

Julia, this month I have failed to take pictures of you with food all over your face and body and thereby failed to visually capture one of your major discoveries this month - FOOD! You've tried a variety of mush, chicken noodle soup, and vegetables and seem to like everything with the exception of peas (canned baby food peas, so maybe you'll like the real thing if I just smoosh 'em up); but most of all, you love the crunchy stuff that I'm not even supposed to let you have until you're one (like those sweet potato crisps and mum mums). You like that food, I'm sure, because it allows you to assert your independence (instead of battling your Dad or I for the spoon; we let you attempt to stuff these things in your mouth because you are supposed to).You're still working out your crawling style but have finally given up trying to use your feet and hands because you've found much more efficient methods. Thanks for keeping the floors buffed. They need it after you throw mush all over the place.

The debate about your hair colour rages on this month. Are you blonde? Are you a redhead? Or are you just bald and we're going to have to wait to find out? I guess I'll have to grudgingly go with the latter, but it sure is fun to speculate.

A picture that really should have been included with this seven month update (had I thought to take one before now) is one of you and McPurr. McPurr has been driving us insane since Meowser died with his constant meowing (among other things) but the thing that has redeemed him, is your absolute adoration for him. When you nap outside your crib, he lays at your feet and purrs or naps. When you wake up and grab a giant hand full of his fur and pull with all your might he doesn't flinch. When you're hungry and Mummy is doing her best to ignore you for an additional five minutes, you screech and McPurr meows and you screech louder and McPurr meows louder, and that, that results in near instant gratification (I may need to invest in ear plugs when you really figure out just how well this is working for you).

If the above facts and characteristics were not enough to clearly identify you as my daughter, the fact that you immediately stop smiling and become awkward the minute a camera is anywhere close to your face would. Julia, you are so beautiful, stop fighting the pictures! And slow down, be patient, you've got lots of time to grow up and discover the world and so little time to have every need met by someone else. I'm sure you won't take my advice and that's another reason why I love you babe.

Love Mum

Evidence I May Need to Get Back to Work Soon

1. I can no longer write coherently.
2. Jason actually convinced me to join one of his Fantasy Football leagues (I usually lose Jason to football every year around this time, so I figured I would get involved even though, so far it has really been one of those sports I have just not been able to get into - not even CFL). I've found myself reading football magazines to prepare.
3. I have completely fallen off the Yann reading wagon and am instead mostly reading mystery novels and football magazines (per above). Must at least pick up Catch 22 per older post.
4. I have lost all interest in returning to work and rarely peruse the career page any more.
5. I signed up for a class this fall and have been lamenting the fact that it is on Saturdays ever since. What was I thinking? A Saturday class will totally interfere with any mini-vacations I might have planned. My thinking has now shifted to how many classes can I reasonably miss?
6. I find myself thinking adult conversation is overrated.

I think there is a bit of a maternity leave cycle of missing work and not missing work. I'm sure in a few months I'll be itching to get back to work, but right now, I am totally in love with being at home (despite the obvious adverse effects).

Big Day

Hunter attended his first day of pre-school today. Hunter starting pre-school and the multitude of options and choices leading up to the decision to enroll him in the particular preschool he is enrolled in has been the source of much of my obsessive thinking and self doubt these last few weeks. Jason and I had been engaged in weighing the various options: Montessori, pre-k, pre-school, daycare two days a week (to keep some contact with children the same age), or the barely socially acceptable just staying home while Mum/Dad are at home. As late as last week he was enrolled in two schools (pre-k and pre-school) because we still hadn't fully decided what was best. After a tour and meeting with the pre-school teachers, though, Hunter was so excited about this school and learning french that we figured the pre-school had to be the right choice. That same excitement about school this morning meant he had a hard time sleeping last night and was up way too early this morning. As for me, I found myself experiencing a mixture of sadness and excitement when I dropped him off at the classroom this morning. It was hard not to be excited because he was so excited, but at the same time I can't believe how fast the time has gone, it feels like I blinked and he went from being Julia's size to a big guy going to school for the first time. He is growing so fast, and learning and changing all the time (I really ought to do a four and half year update). I spent the hour he was in school wondering what he was up to and lamenting the quiet of the house (Julia decided it would be a good time for a power nap). Picking up Hunter after an hour of meeting the other kids and getting oriented today, it was clear that he was ready even if I wasn't: He was absolutely buzzing. He had already made a new friend (Tiger?), found the washrooms, gone on a tour of the school that even included the real kindergarten classroom, played at the sand table, played cars, and read the Paper Bag Princess. He was over the top. When Jason called to see how it had gone, he had to keep the phone about a foot away from his ear because Hunter was talking so loud in his excitement. My boy is growing up, and I can hardly wait to see what he learns next week.

Analyze This

Not too long ago, I was chatting with a friend of mine about something I was worrying about. She thought I was being funny when I said: "if I just think it will horrible enough, when it isn't, even if it's just bad, it will seem like it's good, and if it's good it will seem like it's awesome". Her laugh caught me completely off guard because up until then I had deluded myself into thinking that most people thought this way. I do this all the time and am at a point now where I almost worry that if I don't worry about something or think it will turn out horribly then it will. For example, if I have a job interview I usually go into it thinking I'm going to stink it up (even though I'm actually quite good at job interviews, or so I've been told); when I do well, I convince myself that I didn't do that well because then I won't be disappointed and I won't jinx it by being overly confident. I also do this with papers (like the one I was sure was terrible only to get a call from my prof asking for permission to submit it to a policy conference). Jason can't believe that I was actually surprised to find out that my friend does not think this way as apparently neither does he. Some people are so odd.